


Lost Love

by Calcu22



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Abuse, Changes to canon, Fluff with Angst, Multi, Teen Romance, dub-con, probably some other stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-07-14 11:11:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 26,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7168679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calcu22/pseuds/Calcu22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During his third escape from Hossberg Circle, teenager Anders made it all the way to Tevinter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A dream come true

**Author's Note:**

> Ok. First time posting something on this site.  
> Hope it's not too awful to read.

 

_...Hot..._

 

_...Sweaty...Robes are sticking..._

  
_...Would love some water..._

  
_...And some food..._

  
_...Must be close now..._

  
"...Can't...Stop...Now...right...behind...almost...there..." Anders huffed under his breaths as he ran across the dessert. A Fucking desert. Anderfell was never this cold! How can they be neighboring?

  
The teenage boy made it up the hill, before tripping on his own robe and rolling half way down. Rocks cut up his hands and for arms as he tried caching himself, finally succeeding before rolling off a small overhang. Rolling onto his back, Anders just started at the too bright sky before healing himself. That act always beings a smile to his face. No matter what the Templars and others say, Anders will never consider his magic to be a cure when he could help people.

  
That first time he escaped, maybe five months after accidentally burning their barn down, he was one of those mage's that thought they were cursed. Until he ran into a boy that was bleeding in the street, and without doing anything but wanting to help him, Anders was able to watch the wound heal before his eyes. Sure the Templars found him soon after, but nothing they could do would erase the look that boy had. Not of fear, but relief.

  
The last time he escaped, Anders made it all the way back to his home town. Only to find his parents gone. He had no idea what happened, and didn't have time to ask around before the Templars found him again. They were less happy that time, wiped him five time careful not to break skin, before putting him under watch for a few months. That was when Anders found out that spirt healers like him were rare, rare enough that they go easy on him with punishments. The other kids resented him for that, and Anders made plans for his next escape to be his last.

  
So instead of going west like his previous attempts, Anders went east. To the border of Tevinter.

  
Growing up, he heard all the stories of "evil Tevinter". Where mage's rule over everyone and anyone whose not a Mage is a slave that is used for their blood magic. And Anders believed them. Until he started listen to the other mage's in the circle. How Mage's can have family, that their circle is a school to learn magic that they are free to come and go as they please. That magic isn't a cure, but a gift to help mankind.

  
In the end Anders didn't really care which Tevinter was the true one, anything had to be better then being stuck in a tower for the rest of his life.

  
"Alright. Enough rest." Anders mumbled as he pushed himself back onto his feet, swaying a little before continuing his decent.

  
Now over the hill, the teen could see a small town in the distant, less then a days walk away. And considering it has been close to a week since he has seen anyone, Anders got the energy to resume his jogging speed.

  
Now thinking back, just cause he heard the sounds of horses on the road didn't mean that they were Templars. Still, can't be too careful. Besides, Anders is pretty sure if it's town guard they aren't just going to let an unharrowed Mage in.

  
Which is a good point. What is he going to do now that he's in Tevinter?

  
"Too late to have second thoughts now." Anders told himself as he readjusted his bag that was much lighter then when he started this trip. He used the last of his water this morning and wouldn't last much longer in this heat. Maybe he can get supplies in exchange for healing. He was the only sprit healer at the circle, so maybe he can use that angle.

  
"Devilry handsome spirt healer from Anderfell here to help you for only a good meal and night's sleep!" Anders announced to the sand and rocks, and it made everything seem more quiet.

  
_Right. Dehydration is not a good way for me to stay quiet._

  
At the base of the hill, or giant rock, was a poorly keep road. Since he was close enough to the king's road, most people traveling would take that rather then track through the wilds like he was going. Still, looked to go through some farms to the town, and with the sun low in the sky Anders is willing to bet most are done with their day and heading home. He'll just have to blend in.

  
Which was easier said then done, since there still isn't anyone around.

  
Though just as he thought that he saw a figure limping in the distance. Frowning, Anders quicken his steps. The sun was low in the sky, casting shadows long enough to distort his vision. Or maybe that was the dehydration? Either way, Anders couldn't see how injured the person was, and worried they would fall.

  
It seems his fear was well founded for once he was close enough to see it was an Elven boy around his age, the boy fell to his knees with a cry of pain.

  
"Andrastes Flaming bosom," Anders swear as he broke into a run.

  
Closer, Anders could see what was wrong. The boy's back was bleeding from numerous lashes, bleeding through his shirt that was thin enough to see them.

  
"Hey, hey, it's ok. I'm going to help you."

  
Anders placed his hands right over the boy's back carful not to touch, and began healing.

  
Normally he would have asked the boy to remove his shirt, but Anders could tell he was in so much pain that request would go unheard. It's fine. Anders can at lest stop the bleeding and most of the inflammation without removing the shirt.

  
"Ok. How's that?" Anders asked as he sat on the ground in exhaustion next to the boy who at lest looked more relax. He was still pale-looking, probably from the blood he lost, but when he looked at Anders, his eyes didn't look glazed over or cloudy.

  
_Marker, look at theses green eyes._

  
" _You're a Mage._ " The boy said, in Tevinter.

  
"Of course you would speak Tevinter, what was I thinking. Sorry, oh um... _Apologies. You are right. I am one Mage. However, I heal help...I help heal...I help...with heal...with heals._ " Anders said, thinking back to the few books written in Tevinter that he read. Speaking was much harder then reading.

  
The boy still looked at him strangely, but the fear that flashed in his eyes was gone. Each Anders rambling was making him more comfortably, or he was good at handing his expressions.

  
"You're a foreigner."

  
"You can speak common? Thank the Maker... wait how did you know I'm not from here. Is it that obvious? Are you ok? Any lingering pain?" Anders asked when the boy got up, swaying a little.

  
"I'm fine. Thank you." The boy said with a nod from his head as he walked off.

  
"Hey, wait. You really shouldn't be walking by yourself. I know I didn't heal everything." Anders called out as he tried catching up with him.

  
"You have done enough. You shouldn't be seen with me."

  
"What? Why? I thought Mage's were free here..."

  
Something Anders said stuck a cord with the boy for he glared at Anders hard enough for him to shut his mouth with an audible snap. Just as soon as it happened, the elf looked away again. All anger gone from his expression.

  
"I'm a slave."

  
_Oh._


	2. Rude awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders finds more about slavery in Tevinter, and about Leto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was planing on posting this chapter this weekend, but figured might as well do it now.  
> Enjoy.

He was a slave. Anders felt like just an idiot for not realizing it sooner. How many times have he been told about the Elven slaves in Tevinter? That magic and mages would only lead to slavery. And he had the audacity to rub his new found freedom in his face.

"I'm so sorry. Will you get punished if you're seen with me? Like are slaves not allowed to socialize with other? Or... wait you don't need to answer that. You're not going to get in trouble cause I healed you right?"

The elf tilt his head, looking like a confused dog. Only then did it stick that he might not be fluent in Common, that Anders rumbling was too quick to follow.

"Not that I know of. But if you are found helping a slave, they will deport you. Mage or not."

With that said, the Elf resumed his slow walk back to wherever he lives. But Anders couldn't just let him go unattended and falls in the street where no one would help.

"Then I wouldn't be found out. I'm pretty good at staying hidden if I put my mind to it. Now can I please help you home? I would also like to heal you again once my mana's back." Anders said, now walking side to side with the elf. If he needs help Anders would be able to grab him.

The Elf on the other hand look like Anders just spotted another head, but like the other times it was gone so quickly Anders wondered if he imaged it.

"Fine. But I wouldn't be able to help if you get caught."

"That's fine with me. I wouldn't want you to." Anders said without thinking.

But as the elf said nothing back, Anders thought back and how what he said might be taken the wrong way.

"Not that I don't think you can be helpful or anything, but because I don't what you to get in trouble. Or more trouble? It looked like you got whipped. Not that you need to do something wrong to get whip - I know some Templars would do it just if you argued magic wasn't evil - but then they never caused me to bleed.

"So... um... never mind. You don't have to tell me. I'll shut up now."

"And here I was wondering if you know how to close your mouth." Anders bearly heard the elf say under his breath.

"I'll have you know I know a lot of things. I just find it more fun to see what comes out of my mouth."

Once again Anders noticed something change from the Elf's neutral expression, but it was to fast to name it. Was it just from have been a slave for so long that he guard his expressions even for strangers? Or because he was a Mage?

"So not even you know what you will say. I wish I had that freedom."

"Oh sorry, I did it again. Maybe I should keep my mouth shut."

"You don't need to keep apologizing Mage. I take no offense by your talking."

"Anders." He corrected without thinking.

"You are from Anderfell?" The elf said, like Anders just gave him a problem in need of solving.

"No, my name is Anders. Or well, yes I am from Anderfell, but I was telling you my name since I never gave it to you."

"I see. My name is Leto then." The elf - Leto - said, looking Anders in the eyes for the first time since he healed him.

They look even prettier with that faint smile of his. _Marker, I would do anything to see him like that more often._

Then Anders realizes he was staring at Leto for a good few minutes just smiling at him like a fool.

"That's a good name. Leto I mean, it's a nice sounding name." Idiot. What'd you say that? You don't even know what it means or if his master picked it out for him or...

"Then my mum will be pleased someone else agrees."

"Sounds like you don't. Agree that is." Anders said, watching as Leto thought to say. Or maybe he was just ignoring the question. At lest the conversation is keeping the elf's mind off his pain.

"I didn't like it when I was younger. Leto is commonly a female name, so I was teased for it."

"Oh, I know how that is. My name was so hard to pronounce that the Templars and everyone just started calling me Anders. Didn't help that for the first year or so I refused to speak common."

"And here I was thinking it is normal to name children after your country." Leto said, looking at Anders like he was expecting him to do something.

Something that Anders didn't have the first idea what it could be.

"Haha, very funny."

Whatever Leto was hoping to see, that response seemed to please him. The elf had a faint smile and nodded to himself before quickly turning off the path.

"Wait, where are we going?"

"Home. Isn't that where you wanted to go?"

Anders looked back to the path they were on that was heading to the outskirts of town. Just the kind of place you would think the poor and inslaved would live.

"So, where were we going before?"

"The slave house."

"And that's not your home?" Anders asked, more confused then ever.

"My mum was a prized slave. For her work, Master gifted us a small cottage near by on the end of his land." Leto simple said, like he was talking about the weather instead of his slave life.

"Oh, well thanks for trusting me enough to bring me home. Though I normally wait till the second date before meeting the parents." Anders joked. He never even been on a real date.

"Humph," was Leto's only response.

The rest of the walk was quite. Anders had to help Leto a few time when he tripped on a rock and it restated the newly healed skin. But Anders was proud to see that even with Leto inability to take it easy, there was no signs of blood.

" _Leto_!"

A young Elven girl no older then 12 ran up to them from the extremely small house Anders could now see.

" _Varania, what are you doing back_?" Leto asked in Tevinter, sounded the most calm Anders heard yet.

" _I'm done for the day! Why are you out so late? And who's that?_ "

"A healer. I promised him a place to sleep in exchange for his help with mum." Leto said in common so Anders would understand. Hopeful that was the reason.

"Well, that's the first I've heard of that!" Anders said, noticing now how both Elves were staring at him. Leto like he was trying to make him shut up, and Varania like she was curious.

"So you wouldn't help." Leto said, his up tight posited slacking.

"Wait, I didn't say that. Of course I'll look at your mom, but I can't promise anything. And I assume you want me to do that before I finish healing you?"

"Yes-"

" _Fratrem! You got hurt again?_ "

" _Nothing to worry about. Go afferrent water from the well._ "

Varania looked at Anders once more before nodding and running to the side of the house to get some water if Anders' understanding of the conversation was right.

"So, is your mom here now or..."

In response to Anders question, Leto just walked to the door.

"Well, then."

When he entered the house, it was really just a room. There was a small table, one bed with some mats on the ground around it, and a small fireplace for cooking. Not what Anders would consider a 'nice gift', but he would much rather stay here then ever go back to the circle.

"Mum, how are you?"

" _Fine fili mi. Why are you late? And who is the hominum?_ " Said the dark skin, red hair elf who was over by the fireplace.

Leto said something in response that was way above Anders' language skills, but whatever he said made Leto's mom turn around.

"Welcome Anders. You can call be Ghelva, and thank you for helping my son, but I'm sorry to say we don't have any money to give you."

"Oh, no, that wouldn't be necessary. I'm happy to heal those in need... and... um, is there anything you would need help with?" Anders awkwardly questioned since Leto obviously wasn't going to help.

Leto's mom gave a sharp look to Leto - who was busy looking at his feet - before turning back with a smile.

"I should have known my son would be able to cajole a runaway Mage to help. You might as well try."

The two went over to the small table, Leto no longer standing by the wall but now resuming what Ghelva was making. Though he would glance over to them once in a while.

At the table, Anders could clearly see what the problem was. Her hands were destroyed. It looked to be years of parcel healing and two of the bones seemed to be fused together. It was a wonder Ghelva could do anything with them.

"I know it's bad. Gladiators like us do have a healer unlike most slaves, but magic can't fix everything. It's ok if you can't do anything."

"I can at lest help the pain." Anders determined as he ready the familiar spell.

He closed his eyes, letting the spirits show him what was wrong. It seemed his thoughts were right, this healer of theirs did more harm then help.

Frowning in concentration, Anders did his best to unwound the damage and lead it the right way for healing to take place. It was easily the most intensive healing Anders has ever attempted, but the kindness that this family has shown him so far just made him more determined to help. So he pushed more mana into healing, even-though he hasn't regenerate it from healing Leto earlier.

* * *

  
"Mage? Anders?"

Anders eyes flew open, and he was surprised to see the ceiling.

"Why am I on the ground?"

"You passed out while healing mum." Leto said helping Anders to a setting position.

"Well, that's embarrassing." Anders said with a nervous laugh.

"You shouldn't be embarrass, you were able to help regardless." Ghelva said as she give him some water, Anders noticed that she was at lest able to hold the cup now.

"Does it still hurt? There was a lot of broken bones and I know I didn't get them all."

"I can use my hands now child, that is more then enough."

"Still, I know some ointment that could help..."

"You have done more then enough Anders. You may stay the night, but we wake before the sun does."

"Really? I can stay the night, thank you so much!" Anders said with a genuine smile.

"Of course, we even have a blanket you can use."

By the time Anders finished his water and stopped feeling like he was going to fall asleep standing up, dinner was done. It was some kind of gurl, and though they didn't have much Leto and Ghelva refused to let him pass it up.

"Leto, would you like me to finish healing your back now?" Anders said in a whisper since everyone was getting ready for bed.

"No."

"Ok, I get it. you're a very strong elf who can handle some pain. But you don't need to. it's not weak to get help."

Leto looked at him once more and Anders wished to know what he was thinking.

"Maybe in the morning then."

And with that Leto went to one of the mates on the ground and fell asleep. Or protected to sleep.

With a sigh, Anders grabbed the blackest Ghelva gave him and made himself a bed. It was much better then the places he has been sleeping in and soon the events of the day caught up with him. Anders was asleep in seconds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Tevente in this chapter is just based off Latin. I don't plan on useing it much more, but I have the translations for the words Anders didn't know.
> 
> _Fratrem_ -brother  
>  _afferrent_ \- fetch or draw  
>  _fili mi_ \- my child  
>  _hominum_ \- human
> 
> Now we're getting into the story. I have most of it outlined, but I'm still thinking of a good ending.  
> Please tell me what you liked and didn't.


	3. Kindness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders has a good day.

 

Everyone was up way to early for Anders liking. It seems Ghelva wasn't joking when she said they wake before the sun does. The sky was still dark, but Ghelva and Varania were already gone by the time Anders was awake enough to notice anything besides his own exhaustion.

"Why didn't you leave with them?" Anders ended up asking.

"They're both seamstress, so Master requires them early."

"But I thought your mom and you are gladiators?"

"She use to be. As you saw, it would have been hard for her to hold a sword like that." Leto said as they left the house.

Leto has to pass threw the town, so Anders gets to talk with him a little longer.

"Where is your sword anyways?"

When Anders asked that, Leto took the time to look at him with a glance that said did you serious just ask that, before concluding with a sigh, that Anders did.

"Slave can't have processions. I don't have a sword, and the sword that I use is part of the arena."

"Oh, that kinda sucks."

"Why would I need a sword outside of the arena?" Leto asked after a long silences passed.

"Why? Oh, I don't know. But I would think a sword would be useful. At the very lest you could probably use it to gain your freedom in someway."

Leto stopped walking and it took Anders a moment to notices. When he looked back, Leto was looking wide eye and open mouth at him.

"Did I... say something stupid again?" Anders asked once Leto just keep staring at him.

Leto shifted a little, regaining his composer, but he still looked confused.

"You were joking." Leto finally concluded, sound like Anders just told him his cat died.

"Um, no? I mean, I guess it was kinda of a joke, but I'm sure you could escape much easier with a sword then your bare hand. I know I would feel better if I had a staff, but I still have magic to help."

"You really think that?"

"Think what? A sword is useful?" Anders asked, knowing that wasn't what Leto was wondering. But for the life of him, Anders couldn't figure out what Leto was asking.

"That... I should be free." Leto said quietly.

"What? Of course I do! I don't think anyone should be a slave, and I would help you but I have no idea what to do." Anders honestly said.

"Not many do." Leto said before looking around.

Even with the sun nearly over the hills, the street was empty beside for them.

"Well, I do. Everyone should be free. Or were you talking about knowing how to help?"

Leto looked at him with a hard look before grabbing something out of his pants.

"Can you read?"

"Um, what?" Anders said, trying to ignore the thoughts coursing though his mind and focus on what Leto said.

"Do your read Tevente?" Leto said, now holding a crumbling pamphlet out to him.

"A little," Anders admitted as he grabbed it.

Anders read the whole thing out loud, though most of the words he have never seen. Still between his attempts at sounding them out and Leto ability to figure out how it fit in contact, the two got the meaning of it.

"Are tournaments like this normal?" Anders said after Leto took it take and resumed walking.

"No. I have no idea what to expect. But for the winner to get any reward they desire... you sure it didn't have any restrictions?"

"Sure as the fade when I'm dreaming."

"I will pretend I know what that means." Leto said after giving a look. "Continue left on this road and you will be in the middle of the town."

"Oh, thanks." Anders said looking in that direction before remembering one of the things he wanted to do. "What time do you go home? If I wanted to talk again, since I pretty sure if I try going to your house I'll get eaten by the sand."

"Before the sunset's I normally pass this crossways. But do watch yourself Mage. I was not lying with my warning yesterday."

With that Leto left, and Anders waved goodbye.

With a deep breath of the cool morning air, Anders walked to the town. Talking with Ghelva and Leto during dinner last night proved to tell Anders more about Teviner life then the circle ever did. It was both better and worst. The slavery was worst, but even if Anders was to become a Magister, he promise he will do every in his power to end slavery. It was the lest he could do to help.

According to Ghelva, this town has no Magister living in it. Their Master is from an old family that has a second cousin whose's a Mage, but is only higher class because of their money and slave labor. Money coming mostly from fights in the Arena, but also by ideas to buy there made for free by other slaves, like Varania.

So if Anders wants to stay in Tevinter, he has to get enough money to leave and get the attention of a Magister. Which means he need to find a job or some work he can do.

A herb shop would be a good place to start. I'll be able to see if they have the stuff for the ointment and see if I could work there.

Already the town had a different feel from the ones he's been to in Anderfell. This 'small town' was the same size as major city that the circle was in. But so far he couldn't see any big houses. In the town, it was mostly shops, with a few inns here and there. Makes sense since the highway goes right by the town. They must get a lot of visitors.

It was still early that there were few people walking about. Most were carts delivering goods for the day. To Anders surprise, there was quite a few signs written in Tevinter and Common.

_Well, that makes it easier._

The day was just starting when Anders found his first shop that sold herbs. 'Valyn potions and poisons' was what it was called. In common anyways. Anders has a feeling the name might have been changed to sound better in common. For who wants to clam they Sell poison right in their name?

The small building was between a inn and a bar, both making the building look even smaller. Still, the plants growing out of the Windows made Anders hope who ever owned it knew that they were doing. It looks like they have been three for a while at the very lest.

"Um, Hello?"

The place looked empty. There was a few lights light, but not all of them. Also, the sleeves were overfilling with ideas.

Looks like this place could uses some major help.

A crash brought Anders away from his thoughts. Look to the back of the room, a old lady appeared from the stacks of books that reached the ceiling.

"Looking to harm or heal?"

Her voice was gravely and loud in the room. She held a cane - not a staff - but didn't use it as she walked over.

"Me? Oh, I was just looking around. Smelling the Elfroot. You know, that kind of thing."

The old lady just stared at him before grunting.

"Right. And which circle did you run away from? Not Ferelden, Freemarches then?"

"Anderfell, actually." Anders said, to shocked by the blunt question to even consider lying.

"Well, that's a first. Looking for work kid?"

"Do you normally give job offers to runaway mages?"

"Only the desperate looking ones. So is that a yes?" The lady asked again, making Anders squirm under her gaze even though she only went to his chest.

"Yes? I mean, what would I do? I'm a healer, and I know my way around potions. Also how much is the pay? I'm not sure how long I'll stay here." Anders rambled.

"A healer? Well, that's useful. Did you manage to destroy your phylacteries before coming?"

"My what?"

"Well, that answer that question. Planing to move deeper into the empire once you get some pocket change kid?"

"I think so?"

The lady nodded to herself, seemingly pleased with that answer.

"Work for me for a month and I'll give you a sovereign. I'll even make a deal with Devon to get you a room and meal for free."

"Really? That would be great! Thank you."

"You can thank me by starting work today." She said with a look.

"Oh, sure! I can start now. I'm Anders by the way."

"Aesthia Valyn. Now help me move these pot to the washroom."

* * *

 

For the rest of the day Anders helped cleaning pots, vales, and even the plants. At one point Anders mentioned the ointment he wanted to make, and Aesthia never heard of it before. She allowed him to use whatever he need for free if she gets to sell it later.

Anders more then agreed.

Though Anders was in the back room most of the day, he saw quite the number of people come in. It seemed every type of people visited. He saw slaves with their master, a baker, the inn keeper Devon who was a young man that Anders wouldn't mind getting to know better, and even the poor who had to put their stuff on a tab.

Anders was a little disappointed to learn Aesthia didn't just give it for a lower price to those people, but he assume it's better then just not giving it to them. It was nice enough for her to give him this job and all the perks that come with it.

When it slowed down, Anders showed Aesthia the ointment he talked about. He was even able to keep a few months worth himself to give to Ghelva. Everything he wanted to do today ended up happening.

With a smile, he finished wrapping it up in some kind of fancy paper Aesthia sells.

"Thank you again Aesthia." Anders called as he stand by the door.

"Why in the void are you still here kid? Go!" Was Aesthia response from somewhere in the shop.

Even with all the cleaning he did, It was still a mess.

"I'm leaving now!" Anders said as he left.

Taking a moment to close his eyes and just enjoy the smells of the city. Which isn't that pleasant, but at lest it was different. It's not often that things go so well for Anders, so he's going to enjoy it while he can.

The sun was just starting to set, so Anders made his way to the crossways where he parted with Leto. Sure, Anders just spoke with him this morning and when he mentioned talking again he meant later this week. However he has the ointment now, so it's a good reason to wait for the elf.

And Anders really enjoys speaking with Leto.

So Anders waited in the outskirts of the town, where only one or two people passed him. It was just as empty as yesterday. Which was crazy to think how much things has changed since then.

Just when Anders started wondering if he missed Leto, he noticed a figure in the distance.

"Hey Leto!"

Anders couldn't tell if the figure heard him or not, so he just waited. It would have been awkward if it wasn't Leto, but he could already tell it was an elf. And soon he was close enough to see, and Anders ran up to meet him.

"Anders."

Anders had to take a moment to caught his breath, but Leto waited. Still looking around like he expected someone to jump out from behind a rock.

"I was... Hoping to run into you."

"I did tell you I could be found here."

"Right. You did. So, not that talking to you isn't reason enough to run in a rope a mile, but I have something for you. Or well it's for your mom, but I figured it would be better to give it to you now. I guess I could walk back with you to give it myself, but then I'll have to walk back. And I've walked more this week then my entire life, so... here I am." Anders ended, surprised he wasn't interrupted.

Leto cautiously took the wrapped box from Anders.

"What is it?"

"It's the ointment for your mom. It helps the pain when you rub it in. Just a little once a day since I made it pretty strong."

"And you are just giving it to us?" Leto said slowly, like Anders was about to attack him.

"Yep. If it makes you uncomfortable, you can think of it as a thanks for helping me last night."

"And here I thought you also healed us for free. This seems very one sided Mage."

Anders just shrugged, not sure how to respond.

"So, did you sign up for the tournament?" Anders ended up asking.

"I- What?"

"The tournament? you know, on that piece of paper you were keeping in your pants for who knows how long. Figured with how happy you sounded this morning about it, I would have though you would have signed up right way." Anders said, noticing how Leto seemed to get more uncomfortable. Shifting from foot to foot.

"No. I can't. There are mages in the tournament as well. There is no way I would be able to defeat them." Leto said after a pause, sounded defeated himself.

"Well, I don't know about mages here, but Templars have a easy time fighting mages. I mean, I would even be willing to spare with you so you get use to fighting a Mage."

Leto stared at him with a raw expression. It was the only time when Anders felt like he could tell what the elf was thinking. Hope.

But then it was gone with one question.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you doing all of this? Why do you care so much?"

"Oh. Well-Ok I'll be the first to ament that I can be pretty selfish. But you have been so kind to me. Even though you are clearly afraid of mages - with good reason - you still treat me like any other person." Anders explained, hoping it didn't scare Leto how honest he was being.

The fact Leto started laughing, didn't really help.

_He does have a nice laugh though._

"Sorry." Leto said as he collected himself. "I just find it funny that you are telling a slave that. I have been nice to you because you have been treating me like a person, not property."

"Good to know we're on the same page then." Anders said with a chuckle himself, smiling at Leto who smiled back.

"Were you really willing to help me learn to fight a Mage, or was that just one of the moments where you talk without thinking."

"Both? I was talking without really thinking about it, but I would love to help you. I would much rather have you fight when I'm around so I can heal."

"I'll have to think about it." Leto ended up saying, avoiding looking at Anders.

"That fine. Want to meet up here tomorrow?" Anders said, trying not to sound as disappointed and needy as he felt.

"Yes. I would like that."

At lest Leto was looking at him now.


	4. A Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A collection of moments.

  
For the next week, Anders worked at Valyn potions and poisons during the day, and would meet up with Leto at sunset.

"So you do have a sword."

"No. I mealy found it." Leto said as he swing a sword taller then Anders effortlessly on his shoulder.

"Ok. I get it. You're an elf with many secrets. You sure you want me to just fling fireballs at you? I don't want you to get burned."

"The point of this is not safely Mage. Didn't you argue you would rather have me do with you beforehand so healing can happen?"

"Well-"

"And since you convince me into signing my name up, I will at some point have 'fireballs fling' at me."

"Fine." Anders said as he grabbed his new staff.

Aesthia threw it at him the other day while he was trying to heal a horse driver that fell and gotten his leg ran over. Anders wasn't sure if he was meant to keep it or not, but so far Aesthia hasn't said anything. It was not fancy, but had a nice weight to it.

The area Leto lead them to was between the town and Leto's home. In-between two cliff that Leto told Anders weren't cliffs, but he knew they were. It was high enough to trap any sounds they make, so no one will be investigated the weird noses during and after the sunsets. Though this was their first time fighting there.

"Ready? 'Cause we can wait till you warm up a bit if you want."

"Anders. Quit stalling." Was all Leto said as he got into a fighters stance.

With a sigh, he shoot off his first fireball. It wasn't very strong, and Leto move out of the way easily.

_How does he move so fast with that sword?_

"That was weak Mage!"

"Oh, do you want me to show you why mages are feared?"

"As if you could ever be frightening." Leto said with half a laugh.

Anders pursed his lips, not really that bothered by what Leto said, but pretended. He love it when Leto jokes with him like this.

"Ha! Suck on a fireball then!" Anders cried and he sent a normal one right at the elf's feet.

Then when he dogged that one, Anders sent another. And another.

Leto had to block a few with his sword, but would yell whenever Anders paused in his attack. Anders tired long before Leto did. And even then, Anders refused to leave until enough mana was back to heal Leto's burns and cuts.

By the time they parted that day, the moon was the only thing lighting their way.

Anders sleep with a smile still on his face that night.

* * *

 

"Here kid. Drink up."

Anders looked up in time just to caught the blue bottle that was thrown at him. He did drop the Embrium that he was drying out, but the table was already coved in so much it hardly made a difference.

"This is Lyrium? But I didn't do any spells today." Anders question, for that was the last thing he was expressing.

"I don't know what you do once you leave - and I don't want to know - but it's leaving you drained. You don't need to drink." Aesthia nonchalantly said.

"Still. This is yours, and I don't need it..."

"Kid. Would I have given it to you if I didn't think you could use it? Also what in the Maker's good name did you think I would do with it? I not a Mage boy."

"Wait, then why do you have a stash of Lyrium potions? It's not for sale..."

"It was my husband's. But he's gone now."Aesthia said bluntly, not even bothering to look at Anders.

"Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss."

"My what now? Why are you sorry that my Husband is selling MY potions in Minrathous?"

Now Aesthia decides to look at him.

"I thought he was dead!"

"That's what you get for not just asking!"

* * *

 

"Ok, so Aesthia gave me this spell book - by hitting me in the head - but there's this element spell that is combat related. Might be good for us to try that since you mastered by fireballs." Anders said, showing Leto the book even though he knows the elf can't read.

The pictures were nice though.

"You think you can pull it off?"

"Ha! I have enough Lyrium to kill a Templar. I'll get it before the moon reaches her hight." Anders said while Leto grunted in response. Anders found out some of those grunts are used to cover a laugh, but others were Leto equivalent of a eye roll.

"We will see Mage."

Anders ended up not learning the spell before the moon was high in the sky, but Leto still got a good workout from the failed spells. Anders had to drink two Lyrium potions just to keep up, but now they were both lying on their backs, looking at the night sky.

"You think it's going to rain?"

"What?" Leto snapped his eyes open, turning to look over at Anders.

"I've been here for, two weeks now? And it wasn't rained once."

Leto laughed, and Anders found himself smile for no reason.

"If it were to rain here, we would drown."

"Come on, rain isn't that bad." Anders said, playfully pushing Leto's shoulder.

"It rains once every other year. Then when it does rain, it's a dump for three days solid. Last year this area looked more like a river and some people died."

"Great. Way to make me feel guilty about liking the rain."

"I was not trying to make you guilty. But if you like rain, this isn't the place to be."

Anders looked over to Leto, who was still starring at him. It was amazing how much it cooled down once the sun was gone, so much that Anders had to make a small fire. The light highlighted Leto black hair, making his eyes stand out even more then normal. Not to mention it was glowing like any elf.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Anders said suddenly, shocking both boys back to the present.

Anders rolled over to where his small bag of stuff was and pulled out a smaller sack.

"Devon refused to let me leave without taking this to work, but I wanted to wait and share it with you." Anders explained as he opened the bag so Leto could see.

"Those are apples." Leto said after looking for a long time.

"Yep, from Ferelden even. If I was better at cooking, I would have baked them into a pie. One of my mom's friends grew up in Ferelden, and she once gave us an apple pie. It was the best thing I ever had!" Anders said, only to trail off when he noticed that Leto was still looking at the bag but wan't moving to grab one.

"Leto? Do you not like apples?"

That seemed to brake Leto out of whatever trance he was in.

"What? No, I..."

Anders waited for Leto to find his word. He never seen Leto so worked up before, but figured it was better to be patient.

"Fruit are hard for slaves to get. So it is common for those courting to give try giving each other some to show their intent and motivation." Leto said after a deep break.

"Oh."

_Well that explains why his ears are getting so red. And here I was thinking it was because of the fire._

"OH! I sorry, I didn't know. Not that I wouldn't mind courting you, but I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. I just wanted to share this with you. So..."

But before Anders could say anything more, Leto grabbed one of the apples and bit into it.

"Humm!"

Anders could help but smile at the satisfied sound the elf was making. By the time he started on his first Apple, Leto already had two. Which makes since since they have been training for hours now, and swing that sword is probably harder then casting spells. If Anders was hungry, Leto must be starving.

The two eat in silents. Anders hoping that Leto wasn't too offend by the apples, but mostly how if he knew what, he would have tried it for real later.

"Anders?"

_Shit. This is when he tells me we can't see each other any more. Stupid. Stupid!_

"Um, Yes?"

"Did you mean it." Leto said so quietly Anders could hardly hear him.

It didn't help the elf was looking at his hands instead of Anders, but Anders wan't sure if he could meet Leto's gaze right now.

"That I wanted to share with you? I thought that was obvious."

"When you said you wouldn't mind courting me. Was that just you talking without thinking?"

Anders turned to look at Leto who was still glaring at his hands. He could hear his heart beat in his ears, and Anders felt like he was hearing someone else speck when his mouth opened.

"I meant it. You one of the nicest, funniest, most beautiful person I've ever had the pleaser to talk with. I would be more then just willing to court you."

"But i'm a slave."

Leto sound so defeated, that Anders couldn't help but pull him into a hug. He didn't know who was more surprise. Anders that Leto let him, or Leto that Anders even did it.

"But not forever. Once you win the tournament your whole family will be free."

"You really believe that, don't you."

"And I'll keep saying it until you do too."

* * *

 

"Really?"

"Don't make me repeat myself Mage." Leto said, trying to look nonchalant but failing from the nice rose coloring of his ears that stood out against his dark skin.

"Sorry, didn't mean to laugh. It just, you seem so contented about everything, I would have never guessed that was your first kiss!"

"And now I regret telling you that." Leto commented when Anders didn't stop laughing.

"Well, that was really, really, good for your first time." Anders ended up saying when he could caught his breath long enough to do so.

Leto respond by claiming Anders' lips once again.

* * *

 

Anders breathed heavily as he looked for Leto. Anders just rained fire down on the elf, and now his gone. Anders would be worried that Leto got injured, but he had a feeling that wasn't the case.

A feeling that proved to be right as a sword appeared around his neck.

"I believe I won Mage."

"Oh, no. Whatever will I do?"

"You can suck my cock."

Anders broke out laughing, Leto quickly moving his sword so Anders wouldn't hurt himself with the sudden movement.

"Oh man. We really need to work on your subtlety."

"I fail to see why."

"Don't worry, I'll show you how I talk dirty." Anders said with a leering grin that Leto raised a eyebrow at.

* * *

 

"And what can I do for you fine fellows?" Anders heard Aesthia say as a small group of armored warrior came in.

Anders couldn't help but hide in the back when he heard the clanks. Of course this would happen now that Anders saved enough money to leave but wanted to stay until Leto fights in his tournament.

"We have reason to believe you have a runway apostate here."

Anders stopped breathing.

"Do you now. I didn't know Templars were aloud to cross country borders." was Aesthia calm response that almost had Anders sighing in relief.

"We do when it's one of our mages." A different, more feminine voice said.

"We can reward you for helping us." The Templar from before said.

"How much are we talking about?" Aesthia said after a Brief pause.

_She wouldn't. Aesthia is just buying time. Maybe I would try leaving? But there's only one door..._

"Five sovereign worth are in this bag."

There was the distant sound of coins clunking around, and Anders couldn't bring himself to move.

"Fine. He's in the back."

With those words it felt like the floor was falling from underneath him. He didn't even have time to think to grab his staff before the Templars hit him with a smite.

It was the second time he has been hit with that, but it still makes it feel like Anders was going to pass out from sudden lost of mana.

Two Templars grabbed him before he could prove that thought to be correct, and hastily lead him out of the shop. In the street, Anders looked around, hoping that someone would save him. With all the people he had healed over the weeks, Anders thought one or two would risk helping him. But no one even glanced in his direction.

Anders realized that the sun was setting. That he wouldn't be able to meet with Leto tonight, or ever again. He'll never know if Leto won and freed his family or died. He'll never get to say how much he loves Leto.

The Templars didn't even acknowledge Anders attempts to break free. It was probably too pathetic for them to notice. And there was no way Anders could fight five Templars, even if he had his magic.

"Anders?"

_No. NO!_

"Look what we have here. Made a little friend robes?"

Anders didn't even look to see who said that. All he could see was Leto running over to him.

"Let go of him."

The Templars just laughed. After all, Leto didn't have a weapon on him, and looked more like a teen then the gladiator he was. And right now Anders could only see that as well.

"Leto it's fine! Just go!"

Leto looked at him, then back at the Templars that made him look so small.

"Let him go." Leto said, clutching his fist in a way Anders was familiar seeing when they fight.

"Elf. This is Templar business. Leave or we will have to use force."

Instead of answering, Leto lunged at the closes Templar to him. Anders figured he was trying to grab the templar's sword, but even with all that armor she was faster.

The Templar stuck Leto on the head with the pummel, but still Leto didn't back down.

It was a pathetic fight, if you could even call it one. The Templar just stood still, waiting for Leto to try and attack, then parry. Anders noticed that the Templar wasn't trying to hurt the elf, but that meant little when he could see the cut and bruises that covered his face and arms.

"Ser Palma, stop wasting our time."

"I don't know if you noticed, but the elf wouldn't stop!" The Templar said as she stuck Leto down again.

Anders voice has gone horse from yelling so much.

"Just kill the knife-ear then." One of the Templars holding Anders said.

"No, he could be someone's slave, and I don't want to deal with that paper work. Just knock him out or break his legs."

"I understand Ser."

There was a loud crack, and when the Templar moved Anders saw that she did.

Leto was lying on the ground, his head cracked open and blood pooling down his face.

"You're just going to leave him!" Anders said as loud as his raw throat would let him.

"The elf will be fine, you can shut up now."

The Templars pulled Anders way, but he was still able to take one more glance at Leto. Lying on the ground that that first day he meet him. Bleeding and in pain. But this time not only could Anders not heal him, but it was his fault Leto was like that.

And that image stayed with him for the rest of his life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the chapter I've been waiting to write. Hope you enjoyed it.


	5. Present Situation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders finishes his story.

  
"Then what happened?"

"I was brought to the Kinlock Circle and soon took my Harrowing." Anders said as he took another sip of the bottle.

For the moving in at the Amell Estate, Hawke threw a party for all her friends. At some point Grey Whiskey was brought out, and there was a good reason why only a grey warden would drink the stuff. One sip was enough for most men, Fenris only had a shot before deciding to keep to wine. He didn't want to just get drunk.

But the Mage had other plans. Apparently the real reason he never drinks was that grey warden stamina made it almost imposable to get even a buzz. Hence why there was Grey Whiskey, Ritewine, and even conscription ale. And the Mage has had four bottle almost by himself.

"But that's so sad." Merrill said looking like she was about to cry.

"You all wanted to know who my first love was, not a happy story. I could have told you about Ser pounce-a-lot!" Anders said, looking happier then Fenris has ever seen him.

"That's ok blondie. I'm surprise you never tried finding Leto though." Varric said, stoping writing for the first time since the Mage started talking.

"Oh, I did. When I escaped the day after passing my Harrowing, I sent a letter when I arrived in Westhill. Did you know it only takes three weeks to get a letter to Tevinter during the summer? Well I didn't, so I was pretty surprise when I got a response so soon."

"Ohh, was it a love letter?" Isabela said from Hawke's lap.

"No, it was from Varania, his sister. She told me that while Leto did win the tournament and used the boon to buy Varania and Ghelva's freedom, he died soon after. Varania told me that his sacrifice wasn't in vain, and that she was planing on working for a magister named Ahriman once she was out of the circle."

"I'm sorry  _Lethallin_ , I shouldn't have asked."

"It's fine Merrill. It was years ago, I'm long over it." Anders dismissed, but Fenris could tell he was lying.

Fenris watched as Anders took long sip.

The conversation slowly moved on. Talks about everything from what everyone's been up to if anyone besides Isabela though that Orsino and Meredith were fucking.

It was just Isabela.

Aveline left early - having patrol in the morning - and Varric left when it became apparent he wasn't getting anything more out of the Mage.

"Isabela, stop. Merrill's asleep."

And somehow Merrill got onto Isabela's lap, who was still seating on Hawke. Something about testing the strength of the chairs. Fenris stopped paying attention to them long ago.

"I should go." Anders said without taking his head out of his arms, so Fenris was the only one who heard him.

"What was that?" Hawke asked, leaning past Isabela to look at them.

"The Mage said he will be leaving." Fenris said when Anders didn't response.

"Anders? You sure you can make it back? You're welcome to spend the night."

"I have to be at my clinic." Anders said as he got up, almost falling out of the chair.

Fenris shock his head, trying to cover his amusement at the Mage.

Fenris forced himself to look back at the table, amusement fading at the sight of Hawke giving him a look. A look Fenris knows without Hawke having to tell him what she wanted.

"No."

"Fenris, look at him! He's going to fall into a sewer then decided that is close enough to dark town."

"Then why don't you escort the Mage."

"Merrill's asleep. It would be like moving Dog once he falls asleep on you. You just don't do that."

Fenris could already tell he was going to lose this argument. But considering right now he was the closes person to sober, it might be for the best.

Doesn't mean he was to enjoy it.

"You owe me." Fenris said as he gracefully got up.

Isabela making a comment that Fenris didn't bother responding to.

"Mage."

Anders was already in the front hall struggling to clasp the buckles on his ridiculous coat.

"Hum?"

"I'm taking you home."

Fenris wasn't sure how he would respond to that, but laughing wasn't even close.

"Hawke convinced you right? Don't worry, I can make back. I'll even tell Hawke later that you did help." Anders said as he finally finished putting his coat on. It was crocked, but it might be like that normally for all Fenris cares.

Then to prove his point at his ability to walk home by himself, Anders opened the door and walked into the frame.

"Ow!"

"That's it. This is so pathetic even I feel bad for you Mage." Fenris said as he grabbed Anders arm and hocked it around his shoulder.

"I can walk. Trust me, this is nothing compared to my warden days."

Still, Fenris did not let the Mage go.

The walk through Hightown was quite. The Mage didn't talk, and Fenris had no reason to. To be honest, Fenris always liked the night. If he was alone, Fenris would even smile at the peacefulness of it.

Which was Fenris sighed at the sight of bandied as soon as they claimed the stair down to Lowtown.

Even with only the two of them in questionable states, they dispatched them quickly. Fenris reserving a few wounds that were healed as fast as he killed the person who inflicted them. Battle was the only time Fenris accepted the Mage's healing. Even Fenris can admit that being a warrior is much easier when you don't need to worry as much about getting hit. Once of the reason why Hawke almost always brings the Mage.

"Did you want to loot them?" Anders said as he leaned onto his staff, only to miss judge the position and fell.

Fenris instinctively caught the Mage. Both giving a scowled at the other, but to Fenris confusion, Anders soon drooped his. In it's place was a look that made Fenris... uncomfortable.

"What?"

"You have green eyes." Anders said as if he just saw the Maker himself.

Fenris dropped the Mage.

He thought Anders was going to say... something. Something more profound then the fact his eyes were green. It can't be the first time the Mage notices, in fact Fenris was sure he was with them when Isabela was talking about his green eyes.

"No, I mean. Shit. I know you have green eyes, but I never notice how..." Anders cut himself off sharply.

Fenris briefly wounded if his bit his own tough closing his mouth that fast.

"Notice what Mage." Fenris said as he helped Anders back to his feet.

"That... they're the same shade of Leto's." Anders finally said in a whisper.

Fenris resisted the urge to drop the Mage again.

"I see."

And Fenris did try seeing it from the Mage's view. Past memories dug up, then having the person you hate have features that remind you of a lost love one? Fenris can never experience that himself, but he can be sympathetic.

"I wouldn't mention it to anyone." Fenris promised, not letting himself look to see the Mage's expression.

Fenris didn't have to help the Mage walk anymore, the fight sobering him up a little. Still, Fenris walk closer to the Mage then he would normally.

"Thanks. Now I'm already thinking of what Isabela would say."

"No doubt that we should have angry sex like her usual suggestion."

"Ha, you say that like that would be the worst thing ever."

Fenris took a look, and noticed the Mage was staring at his bare feet.

"Not the worst, but I don't like how often Isabela brings it up."

"Fair point."

They took the lifts down to Darktown without any more conversation.  
  
Now Fenris was too aware of the silents. Who would have thought that he would miss the mage's babbling? With no distractions, Fenris was now noticing how close the Mage was. That look the Mage gave him wouldn't leave his mind. Never has anyone looked at him like that. And while Fenris knows that look wasn't for him, he wished it was.

The Maker must hate him if Fenris was really wishing for a Mage to love him.

"You not really going to follow me all the way back, are you?" Anders finally broke the silents.

"I did promised Hawke."

Anders didn't response, seemly lost in thought.

They made it to the clinic without any incident, but Fenris almost wished they ran into another fight if just to clear his mind.

"Looks like we made it." Anders said as he fumbled to unlock the doors.

"Looks like." Fenris repeated, definitely not staring at the Mage.

"Do you think it's going to rain?"

"What?" Of all the things for the Mage to talk about.

"Even when it does rain, you can't tell down here."

"Mage, quite stalling and open the door."

"Oh? Will you reward me if I do?"

"You want a reward?" Fenris question, about ready to leave the Mage and his nonsense here.

Not like Hawke said he had to make sure the Mage made it inside.

But before he had the chance to leave, Anders turned around and grabbed him. With both hands gently on his face, Anders bent down and their lips met. Fenris stood still, half thinking this was the Fade, but then Anders stopped.

"Fenris? Oh Shit! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean - I thought..."

Fenris must have been more drunk then he thought if he really replayed by grabbed the mages's hair to pull him down for another kiss.

Their teeth clashed, and it was no were as nice as the one Anders initiated, but they didn't stop.

Somewhere between Anders sucking on his neck, and Fenris pulling Andes coat off, they made it through the door.

Then it was a blur of hands, clothing, and armor. Fenris had a moment when he had to take his own chest piece off after Anders hurt himself on it.

They were in Anders' bed now. Though it was more of a curtained off area with a cot that had a blanket and a pillow on it. Still, Fenris didn't wait much longer before pushing Anders onto it and poaching on him.

Then his legging came off, and a warm mouth breathed on his cock-

_Brother! Brother! Look, it's a funny looking bird!_

_It seems I wouldn't be the only fighter in this family._

_So you do have a sword._

_My dear child. Why do you hide how you feel?_

-Anders bent up to kiss him again, his hand trailing down Fenris' back. Sometimes light and feathery, then hard with nails digging in.

While Fenris was distracted, Anders long legs wrapped around his waist, all while deepening-

_Sorry, I don't know what happen brother!_

_I'm your mother. I always know when you're hiding something._

_That's because you're never home! Why do you all ways come back at night now?_

_Not that I wouldn't mind courting you, but I didn't want to make you uncomfortable._

-Fenris collapse on top of Anders after his release.

Taking a moment to focus on his breath, on the now, Fenris let himself stay there. The Mage's breathing and heart beat were slow and quite. Seems Anders already fell asleep. But did didn't help Fenris calm himself.

Before Fenris was even aware what he was thinking, the elf was off the bed and collecting his stuff.

Nothing made sense. It was too much, too fast, too intense. And to make it worst, those memories - for that must be what it was - were already fading.

Fenris left without looking back and went straight to his wine cellar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was a struggle writing this.


	6. Awkward Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after is always a mess.

  
Anders woke up to knocking on the doors and a splitting headache.

_People need our help. It wouldn't do to lazy in bed._

And now Justice was adding to the headache. Not like a hangover was bad enough.

"Give me a moment. What in the void even happened last night." Anders commended out-loud, hands glowing with a healing spell to help his poor head.

_You copulated with the singing elf Warrior._

Right. That was a thing that happened.

_And here I was hoping it was a dream._

_You were not in the Fade._

_I know, it was a manner of speech._

Before Anders could get even more confused with his 'conversation' with Justice, Anders got up and ready for the day.

It was a couple, were one of them got a infecting from a week old wound. First time in the clinic, but had a co-worker that apparently Anders help before. Didn't take long, and afterwards Anders light the lantern for the day.

Despite the early start, the day was calm. There was only a few cases where Anders needed to use his magic, but Anders keep trying to find other ways to distract himself.

Not like Anders should be surprise that Fenris left. They both drank, and Anders just used him as a replacement for Leto. It was unfair to both Fenris and his memory of Leto. So it was best that Fenris left, make him think it was nothing more then a one time thing. Because it was nothing more then that.

_You shouldn't lie._

It's not going to be anything more.

"Knock, knock!"

"Hawke, let me just finish these patrons then I'll close up." Anders said, not even bother to look up from his work.

"We'll wait outside then!"

It didn't take Anders too long to finish, and the clinic was soon empty. Grabbing a few Lyrium and healing potions on his way out.

"So what are we doing today? Spiders? Collecting some herbs? Go dragonling hunting?"

"Neither. The Viscount wanted me to talk to the Arishok."

"You? That seems like a poor decision."

Hawke shrugged and took the lead like normal. Only then did Anders pay attrition to who else Hakwe brought. Varric and...

"You're bring the Mage-hating elf?"

"You're not the only one displeased with this arrangement Abomination."

Great. Back to abomination.

"Guys, save your arguments for later. I need both of you right now."

"Really Hawke? Bring a ex-warden apostate, a glowing ex-slave elf, and a dwarf with very nice chest hair is you ideal team for peace talks?"

"I know, brilliant isn't."

Anders knew Hawke was joking, but it still worried him.

"Crazy might be another word for it." Varric commented and they followed Hawke.

Varric and Hawke talked, just like it was any other day. And had this been a normal day, Anders would start trying to convince Fenris that mages here should be free. But now Anders can't even look at the elf.

And it wasn't helping that the elf was two steps behind him, so Anders couldn't see him without turning around and making it obvious. But he doesn't want to look, so it's fine.

_Anders, stop that._

_Oh? Would you rather I try courting Fenris to get a repeat of last night? Maybe we can even take turns role-playing._

_You shouldn't lie to yourself. The Elf has had many injustice done yet still shows mercy when it counts. As long as it doesn't distract us from the cause I have no option._

_Really? No option, is that why you were acting like a kitten on catnip last night?_

"Anders, having a good conversation with Justice back there?"

"What?"

They've stopped moving, and everyone was starring at him.

"You were zoning out there blondie."

"Sorry, I was talking with Justice."

"Wait, I thought you said you couldn't tell your thoughts from his anymore?" Hawke said with a look in her eye that Anders didn't like.

"His thoughts sound the same as mine, but sometimes I can tell who thought what because we still differ on our positions on some topics." Anders explained, unnerved by the smile that appeared on Hawke's face.

"So you talk with Justice? Ever do more then talk?"

"Do I...no. You are not asking if have sexy times with a spirt of Justice are you?"

"Well, last night after you and Fenris left Isabela and I were talking..."

"And that's the last I want to hear of it." Anders said, glad to see they're arrived at their destination.

Anders was surprise to see Hawke doing a decent job in the diplomacy role. And even more so to learn that Fenris knew some things about the Qun.

They found the dwarf who stole from the Qunari quickly, only to find out he didn't steal it. What was meant to be a quick talk and fetch quest ended up being a long battle against angelic elves and poison.

Anders really doesn't like poison. If you cast a normal healing spell for someone who was poisoned, it only makes them 'healthy', not cure the position. So after the battle Anders started healing the people elicited, who didn't die trying to kill them.

When they finally left, Anders was more then ready to sleep. Even Justice was in agreement they did enough for now.

Until someone started calling Hawke's name.

* * *

 

Fenris slammed the door, shacking dust from the walls, and he made his way to his room.

The day was awful to start with, so why would Fenris think it would end any differently. He woke with a splitting headache that only went away later when the Mage heal it during battle. Fenris was unsure if he even went to bed that night before Hawke found him. Luckily she just thought it was from drinking last night at the party, not after it.

Seeing the Mage just made Fenris feel guilty. He wasn't even sure if he care he sleep with a Mage, he fought along side of Anders to trust his back to him no matter their differences. But it does feel like he took advantage.

It was clear that Anders only kissed him because he looked like his old lover Leto. And yet Fenris kissed him back. He had the chance to leave, to yell at Anders. But Fenris didn't want to. Still doesn't want to yell at the Mage, not about that night.

Fenris couldn't even look at the Mage without thinking of last night, of the noises he made...

"ARGH!"

Fenris felt a little better seeing the wine dip down the wall, but now he doesn't have any wine in his room.

"Shit."

Fenris turned to his open door were heavy foot steps were coming up the stairs. The elf gripped his sword that he haven't even had time to put down to meet the intruder.

"Fenris! Oh, um, are you ok?" Anders yelled, almost getting decapitated by Fenris, but the Mage was looking around.

"Why are you here Mage."

"I heard a crash." the Mage said, looking confused as he pointed to the broken bottle.

"I was redecorating."

"Oh, of course you were. silly me, thinking that you were in danger cause I heard a crash."

Fenris decided to ignore the tone the Mage had to ask a more important question.

"Why are you here."

"Here? Well, Hawke was pretty put out that you left without saying good bye, so out of the kindness of my heart, I told her I would check on you."

"Well, you can tell Hawke I am fine. Now get out."

"Nope. See I came here for my own reasons as well."

It felt like the Mage shot a ice spell at him. Everything slowed, and Fenris hear him self calmly ask the Mage.

"Is this about last time?"

"What? oh, well, no. yes? We can talk if you want, we should talk, but if you don't want you that's fine."

So Anders didn't came here to yell at him taking advance of him.

"Then why did you come here?"

"I want to check up on you. Since you never let me heal you after the not-ganlock?"

"You came all the way here, to see if I got poisoned."

"Well, I don't know if you were aware, but being poison can lead to death. And being a healer, I try not to let that happen."

"And if you were paying attention, those elicited went crazy and attacked us. And you're still here unharmed."

Fenris watched as the Mage's eyebrows reached his hairline. Ether the Mage was really too dumb to realize that, or he was trying to bluff. The Mage's only method for lying included acting surprise when he get found out.

"Um, right. So, maybe I wanted to see if you were ok. With what happened in the Fade?"

"You weren't even there. Your demon took over."

Fenris was not going to let the Mage make fun of him for being weak in front of a demon, no better then a Mage.

"Justice isn't a demon! But I really didn't come here to argue with you. I just... that was your first time in the Fade. The Fade doesn't feel like this, so it' s'fine that you didn't know. but I would like it if you learn from this and stop calling me weak cause I've never made a deal with a demon." Anders said, his hands going every which way trying to explain his point.

"Cause making a deal with a 'spirt' is so much better."

"Ok, I'll be the first to ament that joining with Justice, wasn't a great idea. But I didn't make a deal with him. Justice was...is my friend and it was to save him."

"So what did happen?"

Fenris always assumed that the Mage made a deal with the demon pretending to be a spirt. but if the Mage says he made no such deal.

"I... well, I came see if you were ok, and here you are. Physically fine and ready to go to bed. Which is something I would love to do."

"You want to sleep in my bed?" Fenris said, knowing well that wasn't what the Mage meant, but couldn't help it.

The way Anders checks flamed up and how he bit his lip made it worth it.

"I...I didn't... Andraste's Tits, you really didn't mind about last night?"

Anders seemed, relived. Was he worried that Fenris would be mad at him for what they did?

"No. Did you?"

"I...I thought it was good."

"Just good?" Fenris asked with a raise of an eyebrow.

"Maybe a bit more then good," Anders said with a smile before it fell. "Are we really talking about having sex?"

"You can leave at any time Mage." Fenris said instead of answering Anders question.

He has no idea what he is doing, nor what he wants. Fenris just felt comfortable flirting with the Mage.

It made no sense.

"Well, you do have a nice looking bed. Look it even has a matrices!"

Fenris rolled his eyes at Anders attempts at being flirtation.

"I..." Fenris started to say before he cut himself off. For what was there to say?

Fenris didn't know what he wanted out of... this. Was it just sex like what Isabela does? Or did he want something deeper with the Mage. Fenris didn't know, and didn't want to know.

Apparently Anders read his hesitation as hesitation for what they were doing and asked, "It's fine if this wasn't what you want Fenris. We don't have to make anything out of it. Just... well I don't know how expression even you have about romance, or even just casual sex, but I'm fine with letting you take the lead. If this is something you want to do..."

"Anders." Fenris interrupted, not liking the tone Anders was using.

"Right, sorry, I'll leave. Just forget I said anything."

"Anders." Fenris said more calmly, making the Mage turn around and look at him.

"You're right. I don't have much...experience with this. I'm not sure what it is I want."

"That's fine. I don't know either. Why don't I go back, and once we think about this you can come visit me. Or I can come here. Or..."

"You can come by tomorrow. My bed is better." Fenris said, not wanted to wait and think about this, but figured it would be best.

"Ok, good. Well, I come by after the sunsets. If you... change your mind just lock your door. I wouldn't bring it up again."

"And if you change your mind?"

"I just won't come. But don't expect me to be on time, Darktown isn't the best place to see where the sun is." Anders joked, getting more and more uneasy end with Fenris starring.

"Good. See you tomorrow then Mage."

And for some reason that made Anders laugh and leave without explanation.


	7. No ones Slave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A nice trip outside of Kirkwall.

  
Anders was distracted all day.

Hawke came back in the morning with Isablea and Avaline, but they were done before noon. And there wasn't a lot of people in the clinic.

Which was a good thing, but it just made Anders think of what he was going to do that night.

When Hawke asked him to check on Fenris he did agree because he was worried. Worried that what happened the other night made the elf weaken to the demons temptation. Which it still might have, but not for the reason Anders feared. How was he meant to know the Elf enjoyed it?

Sure he hasn't asked why Fenris left in the middle of the night, but maybe it was habit. Anders knows he still have a few from his years in the circle, so maybe Fenris has a few from his time on the run. Stay in one place too long is never wise.

And if it wasn't that... well it doesn't matter. Not like Anders will ever be in a real relationship. And Fenris seems to be the only person Justice would even consider having 'fun' with. The spirt understand love due to Anders' memories and those from the Grey Warden he once lived in. But sex with out love? That was way out of the Sprits understatement. And Anders had no idea how to explain it to him without feeling like he's corrupting the spirt even more.

It took him three year to just get Justice to understand how taking time for yourself isn't a bad thing.

"Ok, it's fine. His door is probably locked, anyways." Anders said in the empty clinic.

"Who's door is locked?"

Anders spin around to see Hawke standing there looking smug next to Isabela, the two whispering to each other like gossiping old women.

And Fenris was behind them looking at his feet.

"Oh, ah, nothing. Why... why are you here?" Anders said trying to play it cool.

"Right, that's not suspicious at all. Still, I trust you not to do anything too stupid. How about a little trip to the mountain side?"

"Now?" It would take them a few hours to get their and back, and he would be with Fenris. That kinda messes with their plan to think things over.

"I would rather not walk in the dark. Plus it should be simple. Just getting some items."

"Well, I could use some more Elfroot," Anders admitted as he looked around his clinic.

Honestly there was a lot of herbs he needed, and Anders doesn't have enough donations this month to waste them on buying some.

You should go. Avoiding the Elf will not help, and people need the herbs.

"Alright, I'll come."

"Great! Let's go," Hawke said as she turned around.

With a sigh, Anders followed, walking next to Fenris just like yesterday. At lest it wasn't as awkward as yesterday. Anders now knows Fenris doesn't hate him so much as not to fuck him. Or to belittle him for being drunk enough to fuck. Or...

"Mage."

"Huh, Fenris?" Anders said, lowing his voice so Hawke wouldn't hear.

"Are you... you looked troubled." Fenris said, matching his whisper.

"Nope. I'm fine. Just... long day."

"You thought my door would be locked." Fenris bluntly said, too loud for Anders liking.

He looked to Hawke and Isabela, who were involved in a conversation of their own.

"I... well, yes? I mean, I am a Mage. I figured you would decided that would be... bad."

"I never forgot what you can do." Fenris said, looking like he was going to say something more, but didn't.

"Well, ok then. If you're sure."

"I am. Are you?"

That was the question wasn't it. Anders isn't sure about anything.

"I want to try." He said with a surge, avoiding Fenris's gaze.

"Try. That sounds good."

It did.

Maybe Anders should worry so much, and just let whatever this is happen. At the very lest maybe they can became friends. Already this walk was better then any other they've had. Might be because they aren't talking about Mages, but Anders felt himself relax as Fenris just walked next to him.

By the time they made it to the foot of the mountain, Hawke and Isabela stopped their privet conversation and the four of them were just chatting. It was nice afternoon, and even Fenris did his cough-laugh a few times. If Varric was here he could be commenting on Fenris lack of broodiness.

Though Anders had to keep himself from laughing when Isabela keep trying to guesses Fenris small color. While he probably could come up with a good reason why he knows Fenris doesn't wear any, Isabela and Hawke would both see though it.

Why was he friends with people that could read him so easily?

"Stop right there!"

On top of the hill stood a group that was too well dressed to be bandits. But the man with the mustache continued talking, soon answering Anders question of who they were.

"You are in possession of stolen property. Back away from the slave now and you'll be spared."

_Slavers._

"Fenris is a free man!" Hawke yelled, he normal joking tone gone from her voice.

It made both Anders and Justice happy to see she fighting for what's just.

"I wouldn't repeat myself. Back away from the slave how."

Anders pulled his staff off his back, already knowing they'll have to fight their way though.

"I AM NOT YOUR SLAVE!" Fenris yelled as his Lyrium tattoos glowed.

The battle was short lived. Anders had to stay in healer mood longer then Justice liked due to Fenris acting like he had metal for skin instead of armor that bearly covered his arms. But they still won in the end. Fenris wasting no time in going over the last remaining slaver and getting information out of him.

"Hadriana."

The way Fenris said that name made Anders wonder why he never complained about her sooner. It was said in the same tone the elf called his former master, and Fenris never misses an opportunity to bad talk him.

"I was a fool to think I was free." Fenris said, looking at Anders for a moment before kicking the body once more.

Anders almost said something. That Fenris is still free as long as he never stops running. But something held him back from saying that in-frond of the others, and soon Hawke was helping Fenris.

They went straight to the holding, Fenris leading the way for the first time. Fenris talked to Hawke about who Hadriana was, but Anders wondered if there was more to the story then Fenris was telling them. It was surprising that Fenris knew so much about the way of slaver, even outside Tevinter. Then again, Anders knows more about Templars then more Mage's, so maybe he shouldn't be surprise.

The tunnels leading to the holding were filled with spiders, like any other place around Kirkwall. There was a lot of traps and shades that they had to fight through, but Anders was wondering where all the people were. Surely Hariana didn't come by herself?

The answer came from a Elven women they saved, who told them they were all used for blood magic. Demons of course. Seems Hadriana felt pushed that they decided to find her. Orinana left as soon as Hawke told her to go to Hightown. Justice was about ready to make an appearance when Fernis question her reasons. Servant who will be payed. Fenris calmed considerably from that, while Justice didn't.

_Justice must be served for what was done here!_

Anders didn't know if it was Justice or him that thought that, but it was still true.

When they finally found Hadriana, Hawke didn't waste time talking before Fenris and her attacked. Anders let Justice help this time, fulling his spelled to be more powerful. Still he had to push Justice away so he could heal, each time being harder then the last.

But before anything got to devastating, Hadriana was one the ground, Staff flunked to the wall. Anders relaxed as he saw Fenris getting ready for the finishing blow.

"Stop! You do not want me dead." She pleaded.

"There is only one person I want dead more."

_That's a really good finishing line._ Anders thought, waiting for this to be over so they can get home.

"I have information elf, and I will trade it in return for my life." Hadriana tried again.

"Pugh, The location of Danrius? what good will that do me? I'd rather he lose his pet pupil." Fenris said, readying his swing once more.

"You have a sister. She is alive."

_Well, that worked._ Anders thought with a frown as Fenris lowered his sword.

A look to Hawke showed that he was a surprised as him by that. Wouldn't Fenris know he has a sister?

"You wish to reclaim your life? let me go, and I will tell you where she is." Hadriana added, moving into a setting position.

Hawke decide to give her thoughts on the matter and asked one very important question.

"How do we know you're even telling the truth?"

_Would she lie about Fenris sister just to save her life?_

_If Fenris testimony earlier about her was right, she would. But even I have a hard time believing she could come up with that on the fly._

"You don't. But I know Fenris, and I know what he's searching for. If he wants be to betray Danarius, he'll have to pay for it."

_Well, that was helpful._

_The elf should not trust her._

"This is your call," Hawke said with a side look to Fenris.

Then Fenris walked up, with his sword still on his back.

"So I have your word? I tell you, and you let me go?"

"Yes. You have my word." Fenris said and he leaned in closer to the awful women.

"Her name is Varaina. She is in Qarinus serving a magister by the name of Ahriman."

_Varaina? No..._

"A servant. Not a slave."

_There is no way it's the Varaina I knew._

"She's not a slave."

_Was she a slave? How common is the name Varaina? There is no way that..._

"I believe you." Fenris said as he light up.

Anders was hardly paying attention anymore. Between Justice confusion at the Elf lying but Hadriana death, and Anders for what he just heard.

He just must have gotten the name wrong.

"We are done here." Fenris said, and Anders was more then ready to leave.

He was tired and overthinking things.

And it did not help that Hawke looked over to him before asking Fenris, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Fenris looked about ready to start a fight with Hawke, before Isabela spoke up.

"I want to talk about the fact she said Varaina. Wasn't that the name of your 'friend' Leto's sister?"

Now Fenris was looking at him, apparently not recognizing the name before. The raw look of fear on his face was the last thing Anders wanted to see, but the anger that soon followed didn't help.

"No, I don't want to talk about it!" Fenris yelled, looking even more unease then when he first heard Hadriana was here.

Even Hawke took a step back, before looking to Anders.

_I should say something._

Fenris looked at him, saying something with his eyes, before looking away.

"I...Need to go."

Then he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit shorter then I planed, but I felt this was a good place to break it off.


	8. Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arguments. Lots of Arguments.

Anders went back with Hawke and Isabela. All three of them dead silent.

Funny how much the day changed.

"I'll go and find Fenris. Sorry we didn't get any Elfroot Anders." Hawke said, looking like she wanted to say more, but left to Hightown as soon as they were back in Kirkwall.

"I didn't think he would run."

"Fenris?" Anders asked, looking to Isabela.

"You and him have been getting long better. I though maybe you were working out your differences through sex, but my comment was misplaced. I didn't think it would make him mad."

Isabela apologizing. That was a first.

"It's fine. I'm sure Fenris will be back to his brooding self in no time." Anders said, leaving before anything more could be said.

Now what was he going to do.

Wait until nightfall and visit Fenris liked he planed? Tell him that it was just a coincidence that his sister has the same name as his first boyfriend?

Justice was being silent for what ever reason, and it made Anders pace his clinic.

It was too late to light the lantern if he was going to visit Fenris. To early to visit him. If the elf was even back. Or still in Kirkwall.

Maybe he should go wait at Hawke place until she comes back. But then he'll have to come up with a reason for doing that. Or Hawke will be like Isabela and assume it wasn't a conscience.

Which might be worst then finding out Fenris and him are...what? They aren't even friends.

"Fine, I'll just ask Hawke when she will be going out there again. Then go to Fenris'." Anders said out-loud.

_Stop stalling._

Anders gripped his staff and left. Noticing as he walked to Lowtown the sun was just setting.

Even with the uncertainty of the day, Anders found himself smiling a little. He always liked twilight, even more so after meeting Leto. Before he was taken to the circle, Anders would watch as the stars came out with his mom and siblings. Then after training, Leto and him would tell each other stories about the star consultations. It was though memories that helped Anders get through his year of solitary relatively sane.

Anders passed the market place, that was long closed up for the day. Much sooner then he liked, Anders was standing In front of Hawke's door.

It looked the same as it did when she threw the party.

Before he could think on what a horrible idea this was, Anders knocked on the door.

He heard movement on the other side of the door, before it was opened.

"Mage."

"Fenris?"

"Anders?" Hawke asked from behind Fenris who was the one to open the door.

"Oh, hi Hawke. I was...just wondering when or if you were planing on going back."

"I'll take my leave. Thank you for understanding Hawke." Fenris said as he moved to the other side of the door. All without one look at Anders.

"Fenris you don't need to leave. Maybe Anders could help?" Hawke said, giving Fenris a look that went way over Anders head.

"I doubt he will be much help."

"Come on Fenris. You don't remember your past, Anders knew someone from Teviner who was an elf and named Varaina, sounds seems like that love story Varric just published." Hawke joked, and Anders immediately recoiled.

_No. There is no way Hawke thinks that is true. It is imposable. If Fenris was Leto he would have said something. He would have remember me._

"Hawke this isn't some story. There is no way that Fernis is Leto. No way that Leto became... that hateful dog that doesn't even know how not to hate and kill!"

"Then we agree that in would be imposable for me to ever date an abomination like yourself."

"Right. An 'abomination' who heals for free while the ex-slave just drinks in his corpses filled mentioned unable to leave the past. Just waiting for his Master to come home."

"ANDERS, FENRIS, that enough!"

Anders didn't even notice that Fenris was grabbing him, other hand transparent with Hawke holding his arm back. Justice was roaring at him to attack, to let him through.

_This just proves that Fenris can't be Leto. Leto would never have tried killing me._

"Bye Hawke." Anders said as he left.

* * *

  
Weeks has passed with out Fernis having to see the ma-Abomination. Fenris even tried avoided Hawke for a few days just cause he knew she would making it her business. Hawke's stubbornness to solve everyone's problems was both a blessing and a curse.

But Hawke convince him to join her on a quest, and didn't talk about that happened. It was just like any other time, the main difference being that Merril was with them instead of Anders.

And as much as he hates to say it, Fenris did see why Hawke would always being him with Anders. Having two heavy damage Warrior with no healer was a challenge. More healing potion were used and more often then not Merril and Isabela were used to distracted their enemies as they took them. It was wasteful.

As much as Fernis would like to never see the Mage, it was making him guilt that Hawke is wasting so much potent ion on their problems. Even more so when Hawke brought Fenris in stand of Anders to go find her mom. Not that she could have known what was going to happen, but it still makes Fenris feels likes it was partly his fault.

Mostly the Mage's, since the idea of him being his old lover was so awful to him, and that was the reason Hawke can no longer trust them not to kill each other.

Though the Mage is probably right with it just being a coincidence, it did make him wonder. Fenris has no memory of his past, no way of determining what happen before Danarius. Not without meeting Varaina, and Fenris still need to figure that one out.

Which was why he was annoyed that when Hawke decided that Anders and Fernis isolation from each other was over, it was because the Mage need Hawke's help. Even with her mom dying and now Isabela missing, the Mage was selfish enough to prioritize his needed over their Mutual friend. Then to end it, the abomination finally lost control of his demon and almost killed one of the Mage's he was trying to save.

It was a good thing Anders made his view of Fenris clear before they did anything more. He was a fool to think that anything good would come out of being around a Mage.

"How can I fight for the Freedom of Mages, when I am the example of the worst that freedom brings?" Anders told Hawke, acting like a child.

"So the Mage finally amines it. And here I was thinking you were oblivious enough to believe Mage aren't dangerous." Fenris could help but say.

"I never said they weren't! I just don't believe my people should automatically be locked up like a slave for it."

"It is nothing like being a slave."

Fenris was staring at Anders now. This was only the second time the Mage made that comparison, the first being when they first meet. And now that Fenris knows the Mage knew a little of what slave life was like in Tevinter, it makes the comparison even worst in his eyes.

"And that's just from your experience right? I never claimed the average Mage has it as bad at the average slave, but I take to time to lisson to what happen to Mage's and ex-slaves that I've meet. Have you even stopped to consider that Mages here are different then from Tevtinter! Do you even hear me when I talk?" Anders was yelling by the end, but Fenris was surprised to see the mage's eye glinting with unsheathed tears.

"And yet here you are. An monster who almost killed one of those you were trying to protect. Maybe you should just turn your self in." Fenris said, keeping any emotion out of his voice.

Fenris waited for the Mage to response, so say something equally as biting back, but nothing came. Even Hawke noticed that a line was steeped. This time by Fenris.

"Varric, Fenris, can you go wait outside? I want to talk to Anders some more." Hawke said, Fenris having to look away from the disappointed look in her eye.

"You two just never stop." Varric said once they passed through the doors of the clinic, shaking his head.

Fenris grunted, but otherwise just started at his feet.

"Well, tell Hawke I went back to the Hangman. Something tells me she'll want a word before you take your leave."

"Why would you say that?"

"Cause Hawke's worried. About both of you. Somethings happen, and that fact Hawke hasn't told me tells me it something big. But I can make an educated guess and figure out something caused you two to go from tentative friendship to arguments even worst then when you first meet. If you wouldn't talk to Blondie about it, at lest talk to Hawke."

"She doesn't need to waste here time of this." Fenris said, not liking the words that went unsaid.

"Yes she does Fenris."

Fernis finally looked at the dwarf, wondering if this was the first time he has ever said his name. Maybe when they first met, but it was odd to not hear him referred to as Broody.

"You don't have to. But at lest try. Good night Broody!"

And with that Varric was gone.

Fenris did end up waiting. At the very lest because Hawke would be unset if they all left without saying goodbye.

Fenris realized it wasn't the best idea to argue with the Mage after what happened, but they have always done so. Fenris enjoys the fact he can talk back to a Mage with no fear of being punished, and he had a feeling Anders felt something similar. He always looked alive while talking about Mage's, even when Fenris does his best to shoot all his ideas down.

So why did what he said effect the Mage so. Anders just looked so... defeated. It wasn't want he hope would be the out come. Fenris wanted Anders to look alive, but even though he didn't kill that girl, was the thought of ever harming an innocent that bad for the Mage?

"Fenris? Where's Varric?"

"He went to the Hangman." Fenris said, still not looking up.

"And he told you to stay? Come on, would you like a drink at my place?"

Since that blood Mage killed Leandra, Hawke has been inviting somone over to her place. Mostly Isabela, but now everyone makes sure to visit. Some unsaid rule they have a friends to Hawke.

"Did you get better wine then last time?"

"I still have that bottle that gifted me."

Fenris nodded, and they walked together to Hightown. Only coming across some dog thugs.

By the time they made it inside The Amell manor, Fenris almost forgot what Varric told him. Or warned him about. But Hawke was soon there to make the thoughts Fenris have been trying hard to drown coming back.

"Are you going to look for your sister?"

Well, it was better then talking about his problem with the Mage. Maybe. Fenris almost doesn't want to know for sure if his sister is the same one the Mage once knew. If there're not, maybe they could go back to the way things were before. Familiar. Safe.

If there was the chance they were the same...

"I already contacted with Anso to see some ways we can find her without alerting any ministers."

"Not Varric?" Hawke said, looking confused before she remembered who Anso was.

"Varric's contacts are in Kirkwall." Fenris simply said.

Hawke opened her mouth to say something, but then thought better of it.

"What is it Hawke."

"Anders."

_Fenhedis!_

"What about the abomination?"

Hawke frowned, but just took another sip of wine.

"I get you don't want to talk about that possibility that you're Leto, but can you at lest see it from Anders side?"

"Anders is the one who said there is no way it's true. His stance is very clear." Fenris said, not wanted to hear where Hawke was planing on thanking this.

"Ya, that was too far, but Anders mourned for Leto. You two were going fine on the mission today."

Fenris raised a hand to stop Hawke from talking more, "If this is your way of asking if I can work with the Mage, Then I will do my best to keep person thoughts way while fighting."

"That's a start. Thanks Fenris." Hawke said, looking more tired then she has all day.

"Oh, before I forget, did you really want me to teach you how to read?"

And they already moved the conversation along. Fernis finally let himself relaxed.

"Yes. I don't want to gift you gave me to be wasted."

"It is a gift, you could so whatever you want with it. But I really don't mind. We can even start tomorrow after supper if you would like."

"That... Thank you Hawke." Fenris said, smiling a little into his glass.

 


	9. Hawke yes!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hawke has an idea. Both Anders and Fenris are victims of it.

"How's my favorite healer!"

Ander looked tentatively away from the little boy who broke his arm to Hawke who entered the clinic. Alone.

"What's wrong."

Anders couldn't remember the last time Hawke came to his clinic alone. Hawke was a drawn to danger, and was smart enough to bring along her friend to help with that.

"Why does there need to be something wrong? I might have just decided it was time to visit my dear friend."

"Ok, now I know somethings up." Anders said as he finished with the lad, giving his mother ointment for the pain.

"Nothing's wrong per-say, I was just wondering if you would do me a favor." Hawke said, knowing that Anders isn't one to say no.

"A favor for the new Champion of Kirkwall? Just what do you need a dashing apostate like me to do?"

" First I need to know if you ever teach Mage's in the circle?"

Anders immediately perked up. Sure Hawke has been on the side of the Mage's so far, but he didn't think...

"A few time. I was actually really good with the younger kids, the ones who were just brought in. Not sure why Irving that that would be a good idea when I keep escaping."

"Perfect. Now let me finish my request before you say anything. Fenris doesn't know how to read, and I've been trying to help, but I have no patients with teaching. So would you help?"

"No."

_We can't waste our time on the Elf._

"Anders, I didn't mean you have to physically teach him. Just, make him some worksheets or something so I know how to help."

Anders has seen the elf. It seems that Hawke also had a talk with him about if they can work together anymore. Anders was more comfortable being with Hawke and Fenris then wondering if one or both were being killed. As much as he hate to admit, Fenris has made his way into the small group of people Anders cares for. Even knowing that Anders probably rune any change at friendship with Fenris after snapping at him at the idea of him being Leto.

Hawke brought it to his attention that Fenris doesn't remember anything from before the tattoos, so while Anders is sure they aren't the same, it wasn't fair to get mad at him. Maybe this would be a good way to gets things back to normal? Or at lest so Anders doesn't feel like his heart is trying to kill itself whoever he see him?

_We can't wait much time on this. We can't let it distract us._

"Ok, I try teaching him. I'll start by visiting one a week,but you'll have to help with anything more often then that. But I hope you have already talk to him about this?"

"I will now. Thanks Anders, I'll make sure you get some more parchment for your manifesto!" Hawke said as she left, every going back to the way it was before.

Anders sighed, wondering if Fenris will even agree. Part of Anders hopes he doesn't just for the fact he'll most likely be alone with Fernis at some point. Then things will be said that shouldn't be. Anders will just make everything worst.

He wasn't even mad at Fenris! Well, maybe at first, but he was more just lashing out. Anders was mad at the idea that Leto was still around, and never tried to find him. Anders tried, and was captured because he wasted time to send a letter in hopes the elf was still alive. Alive and free. That was the only reason Anders would go back to Tevinter. Not because that is the only place he would no longer have to hide, but because he had Leto there. Even Varania and Ghelva became dear to him in that short month.

It was like having a family again.

* * *

  
"No."

"But you didn't even let me finish. Maybe I was going to say Anders left, or died." Hawke said.

"Did he?" Fenris asked, knowing well that Hawke was just saying that, but a part of him froze when she said that.

"No. But if you want to learn to read, Anders might be your best bet. He even told me he would help."

"You already asked him?"

Fenris did not want to see the Mage outside of their time with Hawke. No matter how conflicted his thoughts about him is.

"Yes I did. He already promised to test it out this week. You can even have your lesson over at my place if you want."

Fenris looked away from Hawke's hopeful expression. She has been trying to teach him to read for weeks now, but he understands nothing. Hawke's reasoning that it was she fault for not knowing how to do thing rather then him not being smart enough. Fenris knew it was more likely just too late for him. He should just say no and stop wasting everyone's time.

"I don't know."

Because, Fenris wanted to live free, and that meant being able to read. He wanted to be the one to write Varania a letter. And even if it means dealing with the Mage making fun of him, Fenris wants to try.

"Is that a yes? Or you being too polite to say no?"

"I'll go this week, but I can not promise anything more Hawke."

"I would be worried if you did. Thanks for giving Anders another chance Fenris."

Hawke had no clue now close that resonated with Fenris.

Was he willing to give the Mage another change? It seems that Anders was. Truthfully, Fenris had long stopped being mad at him. Now it was just habit. A reason to talk.

* * *

  
Here we are.

Anders stood in front of the Amell manor, getting ready to knock. Not trying to stall at all.

Hawke asked what evening would work best, and Anders had the great idea of saying tonight. At the very lest, Hawke will provide dinner for them. And since Anders only had a piece of bread and water today, he was excited for some real food.

Hopefully Fenris hasn't arrived yet. Even though he lives right next to Hawke. And Anders was already running late...

The door opened suddenly and Anders may have yelped.

"Oh Anders! I was just thinking of looking for you."

"Um, here I am?" Anders said, wondering if it was too late to call this whole thing off.

"Come in! I was just helping Orinana with dinner, so you can just join Fenris in the study. Call if you need anything, and please no blood on the carpets. I don't want Orinana to get freaked out again."

Then Hawke was gone. Leaving Anders along with Dog who was trying to get him to pet him.

"So if Fenris tries killing me, you'll help right?"

Dog whimpered, and Anders sighed.

''Ya, not sure if I would either."

Anders took a deep breath and walked to Hawke's study. It was Anders favorite place in her manor, the fact that Hawke keeps it well stock with ink and paper for Varric and himself was icing on the cake. So for a little bit, Anders could proteins this was just a normally dinner with Hawke, with him planing to work on his manifesto for a little bit.

"Mage?"

Fenris was standing by the fireplace, face tuned to face him. The glow on his white hair made it even more pronounced against his dark skin. Anders had to look to the wall to regain anything thoughts necessary for talking.

"Hi, Hello Fenris. Um, Hawke did tell you I was coming right?"

"Yes. Though I was beginning to think you didn't know and decided not to."

_Ok, no abomination yet. Keep it civil Anders_.

"No. I don't mind teaching. It would be nice to be able to just write out what you need for when you decline magical healing instead of me drawing a picture."

"You knew I couldn't read?" Fenris said, and Anders had to bit his check to keep from swearing.

"I guessed. Leto and Ghelva couldn't read, so I figured since you were a slave there was a good chance you couldn't as well. Sorry, I probably should have asked first." Anders said, daring to take a look at Fenris.

He didn't look angry. In fact, the elf almost look relived, but why...

"No need. I'm glad that I wouldn't have to explain my situation."

_Was he embarrassed that he couldn't read? Leto was but... They're not the same._

"Well, I made you a copy of the letters used in common. So we can start with that."

Fenris was a good student. As long as you were patent, and made it relevant to his life, the elf was a fast learner. He was even starting to write his name by the time Hawke told them dinner was ready.

"Why didn't you tell me you bought apples. I would have made a pie." Anders commented as they eat.

"Messer Anders, you know how to cook?" Orinana asked, finally comfortable setting at the table with the, though she was all the way at the other end of the table.

"Mostly things over the camp fire. But Apple pie is one of the few thing I know that is good tasty. Even the wardens would save enough for me to make them a pie."

"Why haven't you mentioned this before Anders?" Hawke cried.

Anders shrugged, using the time to eat some more.

"How long does it take? Could you finish it tonight, I'll even make up one of the guest room for you." Hawke was pleading now, and Anders almost laughed until he looked at Fenris.

His ears were up in a way Merrill has then often. Then his face was squander up like he didn't know what Anders was talking about. Like he never had apple pie before...

"Fine. But you have to help me with it."

Anders was still looking at Fenris when he said that, so the nod from the elf was suspiring but welcoming.

"Nice. I can't remember the last time I had pie. Have you ever eaten pie before Orinana?"

"I don't believe I have Messer Hawke. Would it be ok if I was to watch and making it for Messer Hawke on a later date?" Orinana asked, even looking at Anders for a moment.

"Oh! Sure you can. You can be my main helper. Fenris and Hawke can do the dirty work." Anders said with a wink when Hawke started laughing.

* * *

  
The Mage was covered in flour while Hawke was bent over laughing. Even Orinana was chucking a little when no one was looking.

"Well, the doe isn't going to stick, so there's that."

Hawke was laughing even harder and Fenris was sure his ears were going to catch on fire.

"I didn't know... I..."

"Don't worry Fenris. It's flour. And you have plenty on yourself as well. Maybe you should start wearing white instead of black armor." Anders said, unable to keep a straight face any longer.

Fenris found out it was a good think he was a guard when he was a slave, because Fenris would have been killed on the first day if he was in the Kitchen. The Mage and Orinana were natural, both able to put the necessary ingredients without even having to measure. Hawke was mostly messing around, tasting everything, and Fenris got jobs like siring and placing flour on the table.

Flour that was now not only all over the table, but also the floor, Anders, himself...

"I am sorry Hawke."

"Fenris... Oh maker... you're face...and Anders!"

Hawke looked like she was about to fall over or pass out from the lack of air.

When Fenris looked to Anders, he was soon to follow.

"Here you go Messer Fenis." Orinana said, handing a towel over to him.

"Thank you Orinana. Nice to know at lest one of my friend wouldn't just laugh at me."

"Hey! I wasn't laughing at you, just at this situation. I can't remember the last time I've had so much fun." Anders said as he tried to grab to towel Fenris was now done with.

But he moved it out of the reach of the Mage.

"Ok, Fenris. Can you please hand me the towel?" Anders asked, holding his hand out waiting.

But instead of giving it to him, Fenris smirked.

"Humm, maybe I prefer this look on you Mage. Better then the dirty that is normally on your skin."

"Ok, Ok. I get it. Let's all make fun of the Mage and get flour all over Hawke's place." Anders said, sounded annoyed but none of it showed on his face that still held a smile on it.

The Mage looks beautiful when he was smiling.

"Ya, try not to get it out of the kitchen. I don't want Dog to eat it. Last time he eat flour he was farting up a storm."

Fenris threw the towel at Anders, coughing him off guard and having it land over his head.

"Urgh, couldn't just hand it to me could you." Anders said, a small smile still on his face.

"Will we be finishing the pie? Or are you going to make Hawke beg again."

"Pie please!" Hawke said, finally breathing again.

It only took a few hours to cook the pie. During which Anders went over what Fenris practice before dinner. He then wrote his name one every inch of the parchment while Hawke and Anders talked.

It was amazing seeing his name, and knowing he put it there.

"Is it done?" Hawke said once Anders got up.

"Yes, but we have to let it cool. Let the juices solidify a little and have it finishing cooking."

"Isn't that what the oven is for Mage?"

"Oh, but if you have it in there too long it will burn the sugar. So you'll just have to suffer the smell like the rest of us."

Fenris put down his things and followed them.

Fenris was be dreading this night since Hawke told him about this morning, but none of his fear came to be. The Mage already knew of his illiteracy, and didn't look down on him for it. In fact, Anders was more understand then Hawke, if only because he had some limited expressions.

"So were did you even learn to make pie? doesn't seem like something they would teach in the circle or in the Wardens."

"They don't teach you any in the circle beside Magic. Makes it so less believe they can live outside of the circle. But I learned it while staying with a large family during my fifth escape. I saved their dad, they sawed me how to make pie."

"Healing exchange for pie. I find that hard to believe." Fenris said, not because it was true, but because he wanted to know what Anders would say.

"I've always want to make apple pie, so to me it is worth more then any amount of money." Anders simply said.

_Why am I not surprise that the Mage would rather have pie then money._

They had to connives Orinana to stop washing the dishes so they could all have a piece of the pie. Hawke was only able to do so why telling her Anders would be sad if she didn't try any. Fenris is amazed how easy Orinana is around Anders, when she could hardly stand being in the same room as Merrill. Though she knows Merrill is a blood Mage and not that Anders is an abomination.

"Fenris stop staring at it. You were there when I made it. It's not poison." Anders comments between bits.

"I realize that Mage." Fenris said, but still didn't take a piece.

It smelled like the most wonderful thing he has ever had the pleaser to smell. And the taste would only be better. The fact that Anders was the only one who noticed he didn't have a bit yet didn't bode well.

"Then do you not like apples? If that was the case you could have said something."

And now the Mage was frowning. This was not what he wanted.

So before he could think anymore, Fenris broke a big piece of the pie off with his fork and sued it into his mouth.

It was a little hot, and more then anything Fenris noticed the taste. It was much better then it smelled. The doe was light and flaky, with the apple firm but soft, and the taste of cinnamon which Fenris knew Anders didn't put a lot into the apples.

"So you like it? or is that the sound you make when you're about to kill someone."

"I know Fenris doesn't make that sound when he's about to kill someone." Hawke's said looking between Fenris who was still eating and the Mage who face was red for some reason.

He must have missed Hawke saying something.

"It it very good Mage. I would say it's the best pie I've ever had, but since it is also the first I feel the commune n't wouldn't be worth it."

"What is it with Elfs not having pie! Merrill didn't even know what a cookie was until a week ago. I feel like I've failed as your human friend." Fenris heard Hawke say, but he only had eyes for Anders.

Who was blushing even harder now.


	10. Notes and Letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders teaches Fenris how to write and read.

  
Hello This Is fenris. **Uppercase F. Names are important.**

I like Aples **Apples, two p's. I have so clue why.**

I like dead slavers and not-dead slaves. **Where did you learn to write dead? Otherwise good job.**

I do not like slavers. **Good, but you can also write it as don't instead of do not.**

I don't like Mages. **Rude, but correct use of don't.**

I think Anders is ok. **Did you really write this? It wouldn't help if you have Hawke write instead.**

I think Anderss Apples are good. **Remind me not to let Isabela see this. Ever. Also you need a ' for Anders's. Or Anders'. Both are right but the last one only when it ends with a S.**

I like Dog more then Anders. **Oh, HARHar. So funny.**

I think Anders is a dumb and good person. **Thank you? I think?**

I am friends with Hawke, Aveline, Isabela, Varric, Anders and Merrill. **You really think us as friends?** I have it in order of likeingness. **Likable would be better. And thanks for not putting me last.**

I am a Elf warrior who was once a slave. My name is Fenris and I now live in Kirkwall, Hightown. **Elf is correct, but Elven is also correct? That's what Merrill was talking about last night.**

Hawke is a human warrior who is from Furlden. She lives in her parent's parent's house in Kirkwall. **It's Ferelden, and Parent's parents is spelled grandparents.**

Anders is a annoying Mage who is helping me. He is human and has a demon, but also heals and motivated in his stubid Mage rebeliance. **Stupid, rebellion, and Justice is a spirt.**

* * *

  
Dear Varania,  
I am your brother. I am no longer a slave and want to meet you. I do not remember much about our past, but I hope to find out. Please make sure this stays between us.  
Your brother,  
Fenris

Anders finished reading Fenris latest draft of his letter. The last one was fine, but Fenris reused to sent it. Anders never realized what a perfectionist the elf was, but it was clear in his writing.

"This is great Fenris. I have no idea why you wanted me to read it again." Anders said as he gave the letter back.

"I want to be sure I didn't miss anything."

Anders watched as Fenris took another drink from the bottle of wine. Hawke was attending some noble party, so they decided to have Fenris lesion at his place.

"It's fine. Really. I'm sure Varanina will be happy to hear from you no matter what."

Fenris made a grunting noise as he just stared at the letter. It was obvious that the Elf was nervous, but so far no matter what praise Anders tells him, Fenris doesn't change his thoughts.

"I had siblings." Anders said when the silents became too much. "I was 12 when I was taken to the circle, so I remember them even if they were too young to. If I knew where they were..."

"Hawke told me something similar." Fenris interrupted, looking even more uncomfortable.

"Oh, right. Not being helping. Um, what is the problem though?"

"Nothing. Thank you for the help Mage." Fenris said as he got up.

"First, this is your place Fenris, so if you want me to leave you can just say so. Second, if you wouldn't talk to me about what's bothering you, can you tell Hawke? I don't...like seeing you like this."

Fenris didn't turn around, but also didn't leave the room. Anders was wondering if this was not his area to ask.

Sure Fenris calls them friends, but even with all the time they have been spending together, they still have their disagreements. Fenris' view's on Mage's hasn't changed, but Anders has stopped trying to change it. Justice still thinks that Fenris can change, or maybe it was just a part of Anders that hopes that, but Anders enjoys to elf's company too much now to waste it arguing. While out with Hawke they still do, but when teaching, nothing about Mage's is really talked about. They have reached the 'agree to disagree' point.

So while Anders things they are close enough to have this type of talk, maybe Fenris doesn't. For all Anders knows of Fenris came from Hawke, not the Elf. For how much he talked about his own personally reason for hating Mage's, there is little Fenris mentions of himself. Almost the opposite of Anders who has no trouble tell stories of his past, as long as it's not his time in the circle. Then he tells the stories of other, thoses who can't tell their own story.

"No." Fenris said after a long pause. Anders was almost thinking that Fenris wasn't going to say anything.

"No to what?"

"You can stay. I just...can you tell be about the Varania you knew? Just, in the off chance..."

Fenris was still not looking at Anders, and he once again felt guilt as the way he snapped at Fenris when they found out. While he still hopes Leto didn't became Fenris, he does have to agree there is a possibility. Though the idea that Leto had to deal with all the severing that Fenris did, he hoped Leto just died. But thinking about the idea of Leto still being alive and with him now, it didn't feel like Anders was going to couch on his emotions anymore.

"Well, I only knew her for a month, and I saw her even less then that." Anders started to say, waiting for Fenris to come back.

His ears were back and eye glowing slightly in the shadows in the room as Fenris walked back to the table they were at.

"Varania was a Mage." Anders said, making a point not to see what Fenris thought about that.

"She awaken to her power not soon before I arrived. It was part of the reason why Leto wanted to free his family. It's just like you've said before, Magister's will in-slave other Mage's. But if you are free, there is a change of you getting the attention of a magister And get an apprenticeship."

"She wanted to became a Magister?" Fernis asked, angry barely being keep from his voice.

"Leto thought it would be best. Even when slaves buy their own freedom or escape, there is a good chance that they'll be in-slave again. Either because of debts or trusting the wrong person. But by having the protection of a Magister, Leto hopes not only would it keep Varania safe, but Ghelva as well." Anders explained, trying not to get mad at Fenris for judging Varania. He was trying.

"Ghelva. That was Varania and...Leto's mom."

"She was a great person. Or still is. I'm not sure what happened to her since Varania never told me. Also that was years ago. I don't know if Varania is still working with Ahriman or not." Anders said, cursing at himself for only now realizing they also work under the same magister.

"What was she like?"

"Loving. I mean, she was almost a mother to me and there was no reason for Ghelva to trust me. Leto never told her of his plan to enter the tournament, but I always had the feeling she did. But she strong, and kind, funny as well though only Leto really got her jokes." Anders said, smile roundly at the memory.

Looking to Fenris, Anders smile fell when he noticed the elf in deep thought.

"So, do you really not remember anything? I mean, I don't doubt you, but if it was due to trauma there can be ways to bring it back. Maybe not all of it, but some." Anders said, hopping it might lighten the Elf's mood, but it seemed to do the opposite.

"I...some memories did come back. But it was too fast for me to understand what they meant." Fenris slowly said, eyes glued to the low burning fireplace next to them.

Anders might need to go find another log to put in if he stays much longer.

"Really? That's great you could remember something. It means that your memories are still there. Would you mind telling me if anything or anyplace cause some of them to resurface?"

Fenris seemed conflicted, for as much as Anders could tell. He always though he was good at reading Elfs for a human, but Fenris didn't show all the Faisal hinds that other Elfs do. Something he remember seeing in Tevinter before he even knew how much emotion can be shown in an Elfs ears. Something like eyebrows for humans.

As for now Fenris ears were more back then normal, something sublet that Anders wouldn't have noticed a few months ago.

"Do you remember when we had sex?"

If Anders had been drinking at that moment, it would have been all over the elf.

"Um, yes? It was, close to a year ago right?"

_13 months and a few weeks more like it._

Fenris nodded, and Anders knew this conversation was going to be uncomfortable.

"The reason I left that night was because I got some of my memories back. It was just to much, and I when back here before I thought it would have been wise to tell you what happened."

"Then the next day we found out about your sister, and no one was in a mood to apologize." Anders realized, relieved from the fact Fenris had a reason for leaving that night.

"Yes. So I am doing it now. I apologize for leaving that night Anders." Fenris said, looking at Anders for the first time since Anders finished reading the letter.

"I sorry to for how I reacted. I didn't realize at the time you lost your memories, but even if you were Leto, I wouldn't mind too much." Anders said, only realizing he said that last part out loud due to Fenris expression.

His ears were nearly straight up, something Anders has only seen when they cook with Hawke and Their friends.

"You don't need to say that. But thank you never the less. It is...nice to hear." Fenris smiled at Anders, and it might have been one of the best things he seen in a while.

Anders smiled back.

"Well, you're not as bad as I once though. Maybe narrow minded, but I do understand why you think that even if I don't agree with you about Mage's."

"You just had to bring up your Mage plight." Fenris said as he shock he head, more amused then annoyed.

"That's just what I do. Just like how you can't stop talking about the evil of Magisters for a few hours."

"Mage, this is the first we've talk about it today, and I would like it to remain that way."

"Humm, I can work with that. So do you think you're ready to send the letter?"


	11. Truth Revealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris gets a letter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I keep writing Fenris as *Fernis* in this chapter, so let me know if I missed any.

He received the letter from Anso last night. Fenris read it over and over until sunlight replaced his candle light. He could have ask Anders for help, but Fenris wanted to use his new skills to their max.

Varania wanted to meet him.

She would be coming to Krikwall very soon if her estimate and the time stamp of this letter were correct.

Finally Fenris will know for certain about his past.

But for all that hope, there was the very real threats that this was a trick. A way for Danarius to catch him off guard. Which means how he need to tell Hawke of his plans. She already knows some of it, but Fenris had been relented to tell his friend about the full scope of it. Anders knew mainly because of all the help he have been giving to teach Fenris how to read and write.

If it wasn't for the Mage, Fenris would have been forced to tell Hawke or Varric to transpire his letter. As it is now, Fenris was able to deal with it himself.

It makes him feel like he's starting to understand how to be free.

Those on second thought, it might be wise to have Anders read over it. In case he missed something. Not because he hasn't seen the Mage in over a week.

Anders had to cancel their last two reading lessons, and didn't give him a reason why. Which means that it had something to due to Mages. The Mage has been more and more upset with the Gallows and Templars. To the point were many of the lesson ends up with Anders storming off because of Fenris bring up his worry.

When Fenris arrived at the Darktown clinic, he was surprise to see the lantern already light despite the earliness of the day. More likely the Mage never downed it from the previous night.

With a scowl, Fenris went into the clinic.

"Mage!"

Anders was bend over, wrapping up a women's leg wound. Not even bothering to look over. Fenris looked over the clinic, there wasn't a lot of people. No reason for Anders to keep the place open, since everyone who needed help has already got it. Was it really so bad last night that the Mage had to keep it open? Or was that demon of his pushing Anders beyond his limits once again.

"Mage. When was the last time you've sleep?" Fenris said when the Mage didn't even get up once the women thanked him and left.

"Huh? Fenris? When did you get here? Is everything ok?"

The Mage looked like he hasn't sleep in a few days. His eyes were bloodshot and beard grown past the normally scuff. Not to mention it looks and smells like he hasn't watched in even longer.

"I have been here for sometime Mage. Even your patients left while you were too tired to noticed."

Anders looked around as if to realize for the first time the state of his clinic.

"Oh, I didn't notice." Anders repeated, still blinking slowly.

"I'm turning off your light. Mage you will be no use to anyone if you don't get some rest." Fenris said as he moved to the doors.

"Fenris wait. Did you really just come here to see if I was sleeping? Have you been spending too much time around Hawke?" Anders tried joking, but even his smile looked tired.

"I wanted to ask you something, but it can wait. I'll come back late. After you had some sleep." Fenris said as he turned around, only to be stopped by Anders again.

"You don't need to go."

"Are you expecting me to watch you while you sleep? I will not ask any of you until you sleep Mage." Fenris told him, assumed to see his checks redden at the thought of Fenris watching him.

"Well, it just that...never mind. You can leave if you want." Anders ended up saying, letting go of Fenris arm like it burned him.

"Mage. Just tell me what's wrong."

"I don't like sleep alone. And before you say anything I do just mean sleeping. Templars have been way more active, and while I know I'll get a warning before they come here, I still worry."

Fenris nodded slowly, before agreeing with the Mage.

"It is a comfort have ally take watch while you sleep. Is that why you let so many of you patents stay the night?"

"Most of the time it's because they can't be moved. But I like hearing the sound of others."

"Would you sleep better if I was to stay?"

Fenris could tell just from Anders reaction that is exactly what the Mage wanted.

"No, you don't need to do that Fenris. There's not even anything here to keep you busy."

"You have many books, I will try reading some."

Anders gave him a look, before giving up and heading into his 'room'.

Fenris looked around, wondering if there was anything he could do to help the Mage. But it's not like Fenris knows anything about healing, or cleaning for that matter.

It seems Fenris will be using his time to read.

Recently, Fenris has been reading some of Varric's novels, but also the non-magic related books in his manor. It was a challenge, and Fenris produced a long lists of word he has to have Anders help him read later, but it was worth it. It was something to do when he wasn't talking odd jobs or helping Hawke out. Something Fenris found he enjoys immensely.

Anders' has his books all over the place. Each one covered in the Mage's notes and writing that Fenris finds he enjoyed reading more then what in the books themselves. Most of the books Fenris found were for potions or plants. A few about first aid and non-magical healing. Fenris wasn't too surprise at the fact the Mage didn't have a single book about magic in his main clinic. Those's would be somewhere safe, in his 'room'.

But even with all the books and Anders interesting notes, it didn't change the fact they were dull reads. Most of what Fenris knows of plants come from the Mage himself, so there was no reason for Fenris to read about it.

When Fenris stop trying to read the book, he looked to Anders desk. It was overfilling with papers and parchment, written with both graphite and ink. Slowly Fenris looked over it, make sure he doesn't read anything too privet about the Mage. But Fenris found out all of the pages were for the mage's manifesto.

Fenris almost throw all the papers off the desk in disgust, but with held himself. Anders has worked hard on it, so even though Fenris doesn't agree and the knowledge of what it says is a reminder of just what will happens if Mage's are free to rule, he will let the Mage keep it.

Yet once Fenris was unable to find anything else, his attention was draw to the manifesto. Surely it wouldn't be too bad if he read a little. Maybe it would give Fenris some more arguments to use against the Mage.

Plus, Fenris found he enjoys the way Anders' write. It was much the way he speaks, all emotion with little filters. With Varric each word held meaning behind meaning that gave Fenris a reason to reread his books, but Anders. There was little to hide, yet Fenris would read the mage's notes for often then anything else.

With his face still scrunched up, Fenris pulled what looked to be the start of a chapter from the pile.

"It is the fear of the unknown, not of magic," Fenris slowly read out loud. Already not liking where this was going, but didn't stop.

Unlike the Mage's rambling, the page was well put together. There were many notes and cross outs, but it made a lot more sense then the way the Mage normally try's to convince him of the Mage plight.

Fenris will admit that fear of the unknown causes at lot of trouble. It was one of the reason why he will never be able to walk truly free. His tattoo are a unknown, and will draw the eye of all who see. It's why mothers will hold their child closer as he walks past.

Fenris has heard Anders make this point before, but in his manifesto Anders talks about the dangers of magic as well. That Mage's are dangerous, that they should be watched for prosecution and protected when learning.

However the Mage makes it clear the circles in the south is no solution. That the living condition make Mage's more vulnerable to prosecution then apostates or 'hedge-mages'. Then Anders comments how the Dalish have had magics for century's, yet no one hear of a clan being murdered in the middle of the night by one.

Fenris was so engulfed in his reading, he didn't notice Anders woke until the Mage was upon him.

"Are you reading my Manifesto?"

Fenris was about to snap at him, but then saw the Mage's face.

While it still had evidence of lack of sleep, he seemed much more aware, his golden eye brighter. Then that smile he was sporting, Fenris found he couldn't help but look at it like he was under a spell.

"Yes." Fenris ended up saying, still not looking up from Anders lips.

"And? What do you think? We've done over a lot of words, so you should understand most of it. But I tried to make it clear I don't want another Tevinter, I didn't like it was a teen and I hate it even more now. And I know I might have brought that up once or twice with you, and I'm sorry for that, but circles are not the solution..."

"I know Mage. I read about it." Fenris said, looking Anders in his eyes.

Who knew the Mage had so many different shades of gold in his eyes.

"And?"

"And it was easier to follow then what you consider talking. Maybe you should give up talking and just write everything. It would make my life more peaceful." Fenris said, startled to hear Anders nervous sound laugh.

When even was the last time he heard Anders laugh?

"So you liked it? Or at lest didn't hate it, cause I was thinking if I could ever convince you to read it maybe it would be worth sending to the Divine. And you read it without me even asking! With how fucked up last night was I was thinking..."

"What happened last night?" Fenris interrupted, his worry from before coming back. Maybe there was a lot of people in the clinic the other night, and Anders healer them all before he came.

Anders smile fell, and he looked away.

"Don't matter. Thanks for checking on me Fernis, what was it you wanted?"

No emotion. Anders was holding something back, and the idiotic Mage might be thinking it would be best for Fenris.

"Tell me what happen last night Mage. If it keep you from sleeping then it did matter to you." Fenris said, surprising them both with how sincere it sounded.

"I...oh, alright I'll tell you. But you wouldn't understand."

"Why don't you tell me Mage, then I can decided if I understand or not." Fenris said, not liking the feeling in his gut.

"The Mage underground Fenris. It finally broke beyond repair. You're probably happy too, now no more evil Mage's will be running around sacrifice virgins and kittens!" Anders explained, the hind of tears hanging in his eyes and the Mage through his hand up in frustration.

"I...know that it was important to you. I wouldn't lie and tell you I don't agree, but It isn't good for you to be this hanged up about it. You just said you have your manifesto. Don't treat it like it's the end Anders."

Anders looked at him in shock, and Fenris was proud at himself for once finding the right words to protect his feeling.

"Thank you. I...Just thank you so much Fenris."

Anders collapse into the chair, almost falling out of it if Fenris wasn't there to steer him right.

Fenris stayed setting next to Anders until the Mage collected himself.

"So what was it you wanted my help with? I feel like I've just been wasting your time." Anders said with a hallow laugh.

"It's not a waste to see you Mage. But I wanted you to have a look at this. I have read it already, but I wanted to be sure."

Anders took the letter from Fenris, before looking to Fenris once more.

"This is from your sister isn't it."

Fenris nodded, not trusting himself to say what was needed to answer that question.

Fenris watched impatiently as Anders silently read though the letter. Just was Fernis was getting ready to just take the letter and leave, Anders spoke up.

"She will be in Kirkwall on 26 of Solace? That's in five days!"

"I know Mage."

"Have you told Hawke yet? Maybe you can use the hangman, not the nicest place but it will be good if there's a trap. Varric has the home turf advanced."

"I have also consider doing that. I just wanted to make sure what I read was correct before bothering Hawke."

"She wouldn't mind. I'm sure Hawke is as eager as you to meet Varania. Try to find some embarrassing story about your childhood I'm sure. I'll have to ask her to tell me afterwards." Anders said as if he wouldn't be there.

Which why would he? Fenris hasn't ask the Mage to come, even if he thought it was implied.

"Mage, don't make me ask."

"Ask what Fenris?" Anders said, looking as clueless as ever if it wasn't for that blighted smile on his face.

"Mage."

"Come on Fenris. I may be a Mage, but I can't read minds."

"Can you be there." Fenris said, determined not to feel embarrass for asking. And to his surprise, Fenris didn't really. Asking a Mage for help would be awful, but asking Anders was easy.

"I would love to."

* * *

  
Despise Anders now having more time since the Mage underground collapsed, the Mage was still busy. Hawke has been taking him out almost daily, and somehow Anders gets the feeling that she knows what he was up to. Sure Hawke was been supported of Mage freedom, but she wasn't a Mage. There was only so much Hawke could do and Anders didn't want to ask their friend to do anymore. Which is why he never told her about the Mage underground.

Anders suppose there was a change Fenris or Varric told her, but if she ever was told Hawke didn't let it change her view of him. Maybe it was just because she was take Fenris out to keep him busy and not worrying about his meeting with his sister. And since Hawke is no longer worried about them 'glowing' at each other, Anders is there whenever Fenris is.

Either way, Anders welcome it. Justice has been more and more unease and Anders have been having black outs. Not the kind he got when Anders used all his mana, but it was normally at night. Maybe it was time to admit he wasn't as young as he use to be. Still doesn't help when Justice or himself is screaming for someway to help the Mage's. It's been 7 years and thing have only gotten worst for both Mages and those in Darktown.

"Anders, you still with us?"

"Yes, I am right behind you Hawke." Anders said as they walked back to Kirkwall.

Tonight was the night when Fenris decided to meet with Varania, and the elf was making them head back now.

"And I'm sure you're just loving the view," Hawke said, and Anders was about to roll his eyes until he noticed Hawke was looking between Fenris who was next to her, and him.

"I...I....well the clouds are pretty." Anders said, noticing now Fenris was looking at him.

"The clouds Anders? You're blushing like a young madden in front of her first crush." Isabela said from behind Anders.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Anders said as he threw the ex-pirate's arm off his shoulders.

"Alright, I'll let you go for now. But I'll have you know, when you two do finally having some fun, I want some detail. Or a foursome with my Hawke."

Before Anders could say anything to **that** , Isabela was more or less hanging off Hawke, who laughed and picked her up into a kiss.

Now Fenris was back with him.

"How are you?" Anders asked when Fenris didn't say anything.

"Fine Mage. You have asked me that five time today."

"Well, since you're being even less talk-active then normal, I have to pick up the slack."

"How hard that must be for you."

Anders smiled. Now that he knows how Fenris makes jokes, Anders praised himself whenever he can draw on out of Fenris.

"You sure you want to meet her today? She did just come in." Anders pointed out, wondering why Fenris wanted to rush it.

"I have known nothing about my past for too long. I am done waiting Mage."

Anders just nodded, not really expressing the elf to change his mind to begin with.

Anders continued talking to Fenris, would make a sly remark every once in a while, and then they were back in Kirkwall.

"Fenris do you have to hang out at my place until night?" Hawke said from her 'what Anders hopes is just a hug' with Isabela.

"Yes. The Mage should come as well. I doubt he has any food left."

"I have food! Why does everyone think I starve myself?"

"Maybe because we see you giving away food all the time?" Hawke said with a raised eyebrow.

"Not all the time." Anders mumbled, already knowing Hawke and Fenris wouldn't let him go back to the clinic now.

And he didn't want them to know he has just been eating stale bread for the past few day.

Isabela and Hawke ran upstairs to Hawke's room, and Anders knew this was a mistake. Isabela has more or less been living with Hawke after her two year absents, and the two more trying to make up for lost time.

At lest they were happy, and Isabela hasn't been down in his clinic as often either.

"Want some late lunch?"

* * *

  
Fenris watched as the Mage cooked. Orinana was hovering by Fenris since Anders told her he'll be making her something.

Fenris was proud how far Orinana has gotten that she agreed to that only after a few arguments with the Mage.

Fenris knew he was packing the room, and even when Anders finished making the sandwich looking things Fenris couldn't stop moving. There was just too much at stake. It was most likely a trap. If Fenris had a sister, why was he a slave while she was free.

Fenris almost found himself hopping he was Leto just so that could be explained. Because otherwise it would mean his family sold him into slavery, a very common situation for those of the Liberati class. Fenris didn't want to think his family betrayed him before he even meet them.

That's assuming that Varania is even here. Sure both Varric and Aveline confirmed a Elven women coming off the ship when Varania said she would, but there is no way Danarius don't know. Anso did a great job, but Magisters are nothing but snakes.

Fenris should just expect it's a trap and move on with his life.

But he doesn't want to.

* * *

  
The Hangman was the same as ever. Isabela was drinking to the side, Varric hanging out in his room, and Hawke dragging Fenris himself and Aveline into the pub. However everyone was on edge, maybe not Isabela, but she is good at masking any type fear.

There setting alone at one of the tables was a red hair girl Anders recognized. Sure she wasn't the same, but Varania looked like Ghelva with red hair and no scars.

"Anders?"

Varania was looking at him, then to Fenris. Maybe she hasn't seen him since the tattoos were places, if the look and sad expression meant anything.

"I knew you two would find each other."

_Something wrong_.

Anders ignore that thought and watched Fenris walked over to her, asking something, but Anders stopped hearing anything when Varania called Fenris Leto.

_How did I not see it? Besides the white hair and Lyrium, Fenris still looks and acts like Leto. How was I ever mad at Fenris when I didn't even know!_

"I'm sorry Leto."

Just with those three words, everything slowed down. Now Anders was noticing the signs that Justice was trying to tell him. The lack of people drinking, the number of robed figures now standing up.

Then everything went to the void.

"Hello little wolf."

A quick look to Fenris to see the fear on his face was all Anders need to know who this old man was.

"Danarius."


	12. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone knows of Fernis' past now.

Everyone was fighting.

Hawke laughed at His Mast- Danarius' ofter before looking to him and giving a nod. Then Fenris light his Lyrium and lunged.

He was duly aware even the witch arrived at some point, using blood magic against the magister, giving him a taste of his own medicine. Anders was glowing with his...spirt more often then not during the battle. It seems 'Justice' was as mad as Fenris by the appearance of his old Master.

Fenris was not sure if he liked that comparison, but once he pulled Danarius' heart out it didn't matter.

He was finally free.

"You're not going to eat it are you?"

Anders voice broke Fenris out of his thoughts to notice he was still holding the heart.

Fenris dropped it, but not before stabbing it with the tip of his sword as he got up.

"No. May he rot with all the other Mages." Fenris said adding a spit for good measure.

However it wasn't until he looked back to Anders that he realized that might have been the wrong thing to say.

"Oh yes, curse all Mages. Never mind two helped you win your freedom!"

Fenris opened his mouth to apologized when movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention.

Varania was still alive.

"You bitch!"

Fenris watched as Anders confounded his sister, the fade threading to break out of his skin.

"How could you do that Varania? He's your bother!" Anders cried, leaving Fenris shocked.

"I didn't lie when I told you Leto died. That wild creature is Fenris. He killed my brother and took his place. Are you telling me that is the same person you were in love with?" Varania said coldly, like there wasn't a very emotional Mage in fount of her.

"People change! That's what happens, but family should never sell each other out."

"Enough!" Fenris wasn't about to have Anders deal with this for him. Varania was his sister.

All in one movement, Fenris pushed Anders away and grabbed Varania.

"Tell me why I shouldn't kill you now."

"Mom died Leto! If I didn't give you back to Danarius I would have had to sell my self back into slavery, this was my only chance to become a magister."

"You sold your brother out so you could became a magister?" Fenris said, barely keeping his hand from going into her chest.

"Leto Please!"

"MY NAME IS NOT LETO!"

"Fenris don't do it!" Hawke yelled, somehow getting close enough to grab him.

"You'll never forgive yourself if you kill her. She was once your sister Fenris, just...let her go."

It was Anders who laid a gentle hand on his arm, not enough to fully stop him, but enough to have Fenris remember where he is.

Fenris frowned at the pleading look in the Mage's eyes.

"Fine. Leave now."

Varania wasted no time in getting up and leaving for the door. Only stoping right outside the door.

"Freedom is no boon. Looking at you now, I see you got the better deal."

And she was gone.

* * *

  
Fenris left.

By this time you would think Anders would be use to it. Fenris isn't one to get hot headed, but when it involved Mages the elf used harsh words. Better then harsh actions, but Anders hate to think how this meeting would have turned out if he didn't tell Fenris a little about Varania before hand.

Probably would have ended with the Elf saying how all Mage's are evil or something instead of just leaving with only saying he needed some air.

"I'll check on him, Hawke." Anders said as he followed the elf.

Now outside and seeing Fenris no where in sight, maybe he's not the best person to talk to the elf. Anders still haven't figured out what he thinks about the fact that Fenris was Leto, and talking to Fenris about it just seems like a bad idea all around.

_And just when I thought things were going well with Fenris._

Still, Anders found himself walking to Hightown.

"Fenris? Are you here?" Anders called once he found the door partly open.

"Mage. Why are you here?"

Anders looked up to see the elf standing at the top of the decrepit stair case.

"To see if you're ok?"

"I'm fine."

"Right, and I'm the King of Ferelden. Fenris, do you want to talk? I would even make any comments to my self if you don't want me to. I'll just listen and nod every so often." Anders offered, and Fenris looked to consider it.

"I need a drink."

Anders followed the elf into the wine cellar, noticing the sheer number of bottles and caskets.

"Help yourself Mage. I'm sure there's enough for you warden stamina to be cured."

"Ha, I'll say there's enough for Oghren in here!"

Fenris brought up way too many bottles, but Anders didn't say anything. Worst case he'll stay the night and make sure the elf doesn't die.

"Are you only here because I was once Leto?" Fenris demanded as soon as they were in his room.

"If you want to talk about I will, but I'm here for you Fenris. I knew Leto, but I want to know Fenris more then trying to get Leto back."

Anders heard the Elf take as deep breath.

"Am I really that different?"

"Not as much as I first thought. Leto also use to call be Mage all the time, though more as a pet name then a insult like you do now."

"I don't mean to insult you." Fenris quickly said.

"Oh, so is it a pet name now? Maybe I can start calling you Fen!"

"You will not."

"Oh, but I think it's cute Fen."

"Mage." Fenris growled, leaning in closer to Anders.

"If you keep this up, I'm not sure how much talking I'll be able to do." Anders teased, adding a smirk when Fenris ears light up.

"...Maybe another time." Fenris ended up saying, taking a long sip straight from the bottle, before passing it to Anders.

"Right. So, do you want to talk, or just drink? Because as much as the healer in me want you to talk your problems out, I know how helpful alcohol can be in the short term."

"I will talk, just give me some peace for now Mage."

Anders agreed, and just drank with Fenris, who was trying to keep up with Anders.

"Did Leto liked Apples?" Fenris said after opening their five bottle.

"Oh yes, I was the first one to give him some."

"I thought you were making that story up, I can't image me watching the stars with you."

"Really? It's night now, we could climb onto your roof and try it."

"If you fall, I wouldn't caught you." Fenris said as he got up.

"If you fall I wouldn't heal you."

Then Fenris gave his a look of skepticism, and Anders sighed.

"Ok, maybe I still would, But I'll make sure to do with while talking the whole time about the Mage plight."

"Just because I've accepted you doesn't mean I'll accept your dangerous ideas."

"Wait, when did you accept me?" Anders said as he quicken his step in order to stay up with Fenris.

Why could he walk so fast when Anders was so much taller?

"Yes. While I will keep my promise to end you should you go too far, I find my self not wanting that to ever happen."

"Oh, well thank you." Anders said, not wanted to tell Fenris how likely it is that he will lose control, do something he knows he shouldn't, but there is not other chose...

"Watch your step Mage." Fenris said as he held out a hand to help him.

"What a gentleman," Anders said before Fenris just pulled him up and over the window ledge.

"Shit, I always forget how strong you are." Anders said, before he noticed the view.

There was no moon out that night, but there was enough stars to keep things light. The cloud from earlier that day were gone, allowing them to see the all of the heavens.

"See those stars there? My mom used to call that the lion's back..."

"Cause she thought it looked more like a lion then a crab." Fenris finished, looking shocked that he did.

"Yep. I like lions more then carbs anyways. Well, maybe not if I were to meet one, sloth demons sometimes look like lions that are covered in mold."

Fenris shorted, before setting down on the edge of the roof, Anders shortly following him.

They talked long into the night, the bottle Fenris brought long went dry, but neither noticed.

Anders told Fenris about his month with Leto, adding in the things he didn't want to tell the other.

Fenris told Anders about his time as a slave, and his time on the run.

Soon they moved away from more serious topics, and talked about lighter things, like Fenris asking how to spell every consultation Anders told him about.

"I want to kiss you." Fenris said after a moment of silents fell between them.

"Well, you wouldn't hear me complaining."

Fenris nodded to himself before leaning over to Anders, carefully pushing his lips against Anders.

And Anders let himself believe that everything was ok. That this would mark a new beginning to his, their life.

That Anders didn't know he already had plans that will ruined it before they had a change to see where it would go.

Anders just deeper the kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end. I thought about writing a little about after the canon events of DA2, but decided not to. Maybe I'll come back to this story, maybe not.
> 
> Thanks for everyone who left Kudos and comments. It really made me feel more confident about posting stories.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a really short chapter but I liked the ending.  
> I had this idea for a few months now and I really want to give it justice. So please give me any tips or suggestions.


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